12 Huge Mistakes Parents Can AvoidНамуна

We Do It For Them

“Here, sweetie, let me do that for you.” What good, loving parent has never been guilty of tying their kid’s shoes, spooning their food, covering for their mistakes, or filling out their paperwork for a little too long? In fact, this is probably one of the most common mistakes of healthy, well-meaning parents.

There was a good man in the Bible who was also a parent and a man of God named Eli. His two sons were known for their horrible misuse of God’s temple as a means to fatten their bellies and take advantage of women. Yet, Eli is presented as a good man who honored God. We don’t get a detailed history of how Eli raised his sons at an early age, but we do know that when he discovered his sons were luring women at the temple to sleep with them, he basically just slapped their wrists, allowing them to remain in their temple positions.

Based on what we know, we can imagine Eli’s sons didn’t earn their temple roles for their devotion to God. As the head of the temple, maybe Eli secured these roles for them? We can make an educated guess Eli’s sons didn’t have much of their own relationship with God. Maybe they counted on their dad for that too? It’s safe to assume Eli’s sons didn’t carry the burden of their own actions. Scripture suggests Eli did that for them also. Somehow, Eli’s sons believed they were entitled to take what they wanted from God and His people. Eli probably didn’t realize it, but his sons’ entitlement is something he created for them too.

So, instead of doing it for our children, let’s do it with them when they’re young and guide them to do it themselves as they grow older. Let’s be their coach, not their pinch hitter. Let’s be their guide, not their god—their consultant, not their contractor.

Plan: Make a list of at least three things you plan to stop doing for your children. Create an age-appropriate plan to help them understand their new responsibilities.