[#life Series] Parenting Part 1Намуна

A Full Life

Imagine that your kid bops another kid. What do you do as a parent? You say to your kid: “Say, ‘I am sorry.’” And he goes: “Sorry.” But he is not sorry. Or, after receiving something: “What do we say?” Though he knows the correct answer is: “Thank you.” Is he really thankful?

It is not about the words that come out, it is about a heart that is truly repentant when they say they are sorry, or about a heart that is truly thankful when they thank someone. So how do we handle that? A good idea could be to later sit down to ask, “Were you really sorry when you said you were sorry?” “No. Not really.” “Well, let’s talk about that.”

It is not just their behavior. If we don’t handle the things of the heart, our children will still be the same, whether they keep on doing the same things or not. If they don’t know the “why” behind what they are asked to say or do, there will be a smaller chance for them to change inside. For example, when you talk about sex with your kids, don’t just talk about biology—focus on the things of their heart. Talk about why God intended this to be a special thing only to be shared by a man and a woman in marriage.

There are four stages of parenting. First we are a caregiver, providing for their every need to keep them alive, healthy, and thriving. Then we move to cop: “Don’t touch that.” Next we move to coach: “What do you think you should do in that situation?” When they leave our house, they may want to seek our advice as consultants. 

If we are trying to be a cop when they need a coach, we are going to mess things up. Open up spiritual conversations. Pray with them. Talk about God’s will and God’s grace. Not just, “do this and change that.” Use everyday life to point to the things of the heart. Let your conversations move to the things of God and what is going on inside. “How are you feeling about that? What are you afraid of?” Hold that bar of soap the right way.

We want to give our children a full life. And a full life doesn’t come from always saying the right thing or even doing the right thing. A full life comes from following Jesus and His commandments from the heart.