A Shattered Life: Victor Vs. VictimНамуна

Types of Victimization: Perceived  

Any pain you feel is real and valid. Feelings may be an indicator of deeper hurts. No matter how minor or major your circumstances have been for you, if your life feels shattered, you don’t have to pretend like it’s not.... like you could anyway. 

So often the victim mentality is so deeply entrenched into our mental patterns that it seems everything and everyone is out to get us. Is there a lens you see the world through because of hurts you’ve had? Are there negative mental patterns that have rewired your brain to think everything bad happens to you? So many times those hurts become a filter we see the whole world through. Could the perception of your pain be greater than the reality? Are you allowing what people say, think, or do feed your pain without knowing if it is really directed toward you?

The other day my young daughter was trying to take a drink in the car. She sipped…and spilled. “Mom, your driving made me spill!”, emanates from her scowly face. I tell her there was a bump on the road and we couldn’t avoid it or we would crash into a car. “Well, that car made me spill!” she sassily replies. She sips again…and spills. “Mom, you and the road made me spill again!” I tell her I’m just keeping her safe on the road because a car got in our way. “OMG, that stupid car made me spill!” I snickered to myself, until I got convicted. How many times have I blamed others? Pointing fingers everywhere, knowing for sure everything on this earth is scheming to shatter my life and figuratively spilling out and making a mess.

I had to look deep, and I ask you to go there with me. It can twinge and hurt to expose ourselves to deep thinking, especially when we have true pain. But, we can’t let our pain keep us from growing our character. 

Is your faulty earthly perception causing you to experience hurts and pain that don’t really exist, or don’t exist to the depth that you are feeling them? Have these very real pains and hurts made you think everything and everyone is against you? 

God created the world to be perfect, but also gave you free will. The choice to sin led His beautiful creation to be broken and messed up. I am sorry for the agony you feel and the unfair things that have happened to you. But just as I had to do for myself, I want to remind you: don’t view the world through your shattered windshield. 

Ask God if any of your feelings may be perceived pain and jot down any thoughts. Revisit your previous list of pains and put a “P” by things that may be perceived pain. Pray for God to stop you before you have thoughts to blame, and realize pain is part of living on this temporary earth. Ask God to begin to reveal to you how you may become free from perceived feelings leading to victim mentality. 

There is no better counselor than Him! None of my words or suggestions will lead you out of this. But our loving Father will.