Navigating Teenage RebellionНамуна

Day 3: Where is the Battle?

You do have an enemy, but it is not your child. It is not your people. In the heat of the battle, we need to understand the true battlefield.

When our youngest teen sons both decided to mess around with illegal drugs, we became fearful, worried, and upset about their choices. It felt like we were fighting with our teens. There was deceit in our home. Our tone of voice projected disappointment and shame. There was a battle going on and we thought it was us against them. However, there was an enemy coming to invade our home. Coming to rob, kill, and destroy our children.

We learned to stand and take authority over our household. We learned to ask God to bind the enemy and his work. We prayed in their bedrooms, over their decisions, over their cars, and for their friends. We were at war with an enemy who had penetrated our teens’ lives. We knew where the battle was. We also understood that our teens did not understand. They were confused and couldn’t possibly know the future implications of their bad choices. The enemy had blinded them.

During this often scary and heart-breaking time, we must know whom we are battling against. The Lord does not ever shame or condemn us, but He loves us and is faithful. James 1:5 states that He will give wisdom to all who ask. We decided it was better to spend more energy talking to God about our teens, than talking directly to them.

Each teen rebels in different ways. Some teens are quiet rebels who simply ignore our rules in quiet defiance. Some harbor secret sins. And some boldly do the exact opposite of what we ask. Rebellion has many forms, but there is one common denominator—the enemy. As parents, we must do battle on our knees. Our love must be wise and grace-filled. This difficult time can also bring real stress on our marriage. Stay the course. These are our people and our God is a faithful God. Pray, pray again, and then pray some more. Seek wisdom. Do not let your heart be anxious. Lean not on your own understanding, but in all things acknowledge Him and He will make the path straight. (See Proverbs 3:5-6.)