Blending A Family 40 day DevotionalНамуна

Divorce and Remarriage - A Transition for All 

As we married in 1989, we quickly became aware that not everyone was ready to accept our new life together. There was resistance by children, friends, some extended family (parents, siblings) and so on.

Though we believed we were ready to move forward and remarry, some family members were not ready to move forward with us. Some had differing opinions, and some were still hurt from our prior divorces. We had unrealistic expectations of our friends and family that:

1. Their hearts were ready for our new life,

2. They would quickly accept our new spouse and children,

Divorce is a transition for all involved including our children, parents, friends, and anyone else who was close to our former life. Not everyone transitions on our timeline. 

Our remarriage was another transition, and we needed to adjust our expectations that not all who are important to us were ready to emotionally accept our new marriage and family. Each person is different, and each person’s heart will process a transition differently. Some people may never make a transition. We cannot control people, but we can lower our expectations and extend patience and kindness toward them.

We officiated a blended family wedding a few years ago. During pre-marriage counseling for the wedding, we asked if there was anyone who was resistant to their upcoming marriage. The bride-to-be said her grandmother was upset about their remarriage. We suggested they take grandma to dinner to let her get to know her fiancé. They did and the grandmother got to know his heart and his love for her granddaughter and her great grandchildren. It calmed the grandmother’s heart and she became excited about the wedding.

It’s important to not “write-off” valuable people from our lives. Show them importance, acceptance, patience, gentleness, and kindness.

Suggestions:

Assess who in your circle has not yet transitioned through your broken home or remarriage. Discuss a strategy with your spouse to include and pursue them.

Our Prayer for you:

Holy Spirit we ask You to help this couple to be inclusive of all extended family, showing them love and value. Give each spouse ideas to embrace each other’s family. Help them to adjust their expectations to give family the time they need to complete life’s transitions, in Jesus’ Name!

Copyright 2019 Moe and Paige Becnel @ Blending A Family Ministry