It's Okay Not To Be Okay By Sheila WalshНамуна

Day One: Not Okay

I held it together until I couldn’t anymore. I closed myself in my bedroom, got down on the floor and soaked the rug with my tears. I was exhausted, bone-tired from pretending to have it all together.

Maybe you feel the pressure to keep it together for your family, for your kids, for your team or staff. Maybe you pretend to be okay because you’re terrified of what will happen when you admit that you’re not. Who will pick up the pieces? 

In this digitized world where everything is marketed and images are perfected, it’s insanely hard not to be okay. In Christian circles, we can feel guilty for letting the difficult things in life shake our hope. 

I hid my problems for years, covering up my pain with smiles and the lie that I was “just fine, thanks.” But this only leads to despair. When we lock our problems away, we can’t make room for truth, hope, and life-giving relationships—the very things we need. 

I hid my problems until I couldn’t. But then I found another way: A gut-honest, heart-level conversation with God. I let God have it all—all my confusion, anger, disappointment, my sorrow and loneliness. I gave voice to all the bad and ugly things that I was carrying around inside. When the tears ran out, I half expected to feel guilty for not being stronger, so I offered up my only defense, “I just can’t do this anymore.” 

But instead of guilt, a profound peace settled over me. I felt God bend down and say, “I know. I’ve been waiting.”  

God never expects us to do it all. Jesus bore our not okay-ness and made us right through His blood on the cross. God simply asks that we set down the pressures we carry, and let Him in on our mess. Because then, we make room for His peace.

Reflection Question

How do you hide your problems from yourself, from others, from God? How can you begin that gut-honest conversation with Him today?

Prayer

Lord, I know nothing is impossible for you. You are bigger than all my problems. Please help me to be honest with you. Please come into my mess, my not-okayness, and redeem it all for good.