UNCOMMEN: Surviving DivorceНамуна

Scripture Reference: 

Lift up your heads, O ye gates; and be ye lifted up, ye everlasting doors; and the King of glory shall come in. Who is this King of glory? The Lord strong and mighty, the Lord mighty in battle. Lift up your heads, O ye gates; even lift them up, ye everlasting doors; and the King of glory shall come in. Who is this King of glory? The Lord of hosts, he is the King of glory. Psalm 24:7-10

Coming to the Throne

So far, I’ve only talked about you, and I know, if you are anything like me, your mind keeps going back to your wife. I’m guessing the thoughts get confusing most times. Love, anger, despair, hope, loneliness, and why, why, why. You want to blame, you want her to just get over it, you want her to come back, you want to have just one discussion without having it break down, you want to go back to before. It sucks, doesn’t it! Why can’t you find the key?

I’ve heard it put many different ways. My pastor put it this way. A woman builds a wall one brick at a time. An offense from you, there’s a brick. You messed up again, another brick. You broke trust, maybe two bricks. Until there’s just one brick left. When that one goes up, he says he’s only seen a couple of marriages come back in his thirty plus years of ministry. I had another pastor tell me that the door to a woman’s heart closes very slowly, but once shut, it’s nearly impossible to open again. 

What’s going on with her is that the wall is up and the door is shut. Only God can intervene. That’s why I’ve spent these posts on you. Your chances with her are completely and entirely up to her ability to submit to God, allow Him to remove some bricks, and try again. And you cannot make her submit to God. Please don’t try - disaster almost always follows. 

What is left to you is to pray and become the man you are supposed to be. When she comes to mind, when you feel desperate, when you want to shout or cry, cry out to God. Shout to Him. Submit every nagging thought to God. Wow, did I trick you? I got right back to prayer, didn’t I? 

There is no power so great as prayer. Stop fighting it. Prayer is the only thing that breaks every one of the enemies’ attacks. I’m not talking about some scrubbed and bleached version of prayer. I’m talking about down and dirty wrestling with God. Belching out your heart pain and growling in agony before Him. If you don’t talk to God like you talk to your best friend, then you might need to change the way you speak to God. You need to honor Him as God of course, but you need to be yourself. 

Do you think God can’t take hearing who you really are? If you were to spill it, anger, grief, and all. Do you think He would turn away blushing? Ha - you don’t know the Lord of Hosts. He who commands the ferocity and power of angels. He who makes the demons tremble. He who speaks and universes leap into being. He who holds the innocent child in His lap. He has the might to hear and the tenderness to meet your need. Let it out and let Him heal. 

Uncommen Challenge: Get back to prayer. Resist the urge to do something besides prayer. Set aside many times during the day to cry out to God - one minute, ten minutes, longer - whatever it takes to get through the next crisis, the next temptation to do it your own way. Write down everything He tells you and start obeying - you will change. God will be making you into the great man He’s always wanted you to be. Keep your focus there - be great, be Christlike, humble, unmovable in grace, the Gibraltar of love for everyone around you. Be the man your wife wishes she had stuck around for, regardless what she decides ultimately to do. You will not regret becoming this man!