God and Dating: Thoughts on Relationships. Smakprov

What God Thinks About What You Do on Dates

It’s safe to say that with how much God values the sanctity of marriage, “hookups” and “flings” don’t fall in line with His plan for your relationships. Neither does infidelity, dishonesty, or sexual immorality. In fact, when it comes to physical intimacy, the Bible suggests that sex was designed for marriage.

Knowing all of this, what you do on dates is pretty important. While God doesn’t care if you go bowling, out to dinner, or see a movie, He does care about the physical boundaries you put in place. He wants you to honor Him with your body by setting and keeping boundaries while dating.

Maintaining physical boundaries is important while dating for so many reasons. First, boundaries help you stay pure from sexual sin. When you abstain from sexual activity outside of marriage, you show God that you are willing to wait for His best for you.

Physical boundaries also help protect you physically and emotionally. Having sex with someone releases hormones in your brain that bond you to that person. This is great when you have sex with someone you’re married to—it deepens your intimacy, trust, and loyalty to them. However, this type of attachment isn’t beneficial in dating relationships, especially ones that end.

So, what type of physical intimacy is okay in a Christian dating relationship? Unfortunately, the Bible doesn’t say whether or not first base is allowed or third base is ok—we just know the homerun is saved for marriage. Outside of that, it’s important to prayerfully consider the physical boundaries you want to set and keep while dating. If you find yourself in a more serious, long-term relationship, this is something you can discuss together to decide what feels right and God-honoring to both of you.

It’s also important to remember there are many ways to connect with someone and grow in intimacy that don’t require sexy time. Hold hands, have deep conversations, take a dance class, pray together—these are all ways to grow in love and affection without taking things to the “next level” physically. They also honor God and keep you in line with His will for your relationships and life.