Six Elements for Resolving Marital Disagreements a 6-Day Devotion by Damia RolfeShembull

Day 3:WHEN to have a disagreement can affect the outcome.

There’s a time for everything. Even with sometimes, unavoidable marital disagreements, timing can be everything. Ecclesiastes 3:7 states there’s a time to speak and a time to be silent. In the case of a disagreement, there’s a time to talk about a problem and there’s a time not to. This can also apply to when to say certain things in the midst of that disagreement. We’ve all either heard or been told, “choose your battles.” ‘When’ to talk about an issue, if at all, is a part of choosing our battles. We must adopt the habit of asking God the ‘when’ to bring up an issue and when to leave an issue alone. Truth is, sometimes, disagreements can be less tense or avoided altogether simply by considering the timing.

If you’re married, it’s very likely that you’re familiar with the scripture that says don’t let the sun go down on your anger. In addition to its literal meaning, I believe this scripture speaks to not allowing the darkness of our thoughts, anger, or bitterness to cast a shadow over our hearts regarding that issue. We shouldn’t brew upon the negative parts, never seeking and praying for God’s wisdom and guidance. When we allow the sun to go down on our anger, we give Satan a space to create division. Mark 3:25 tells us a house divided against itself cannot stand. Our marriages are meant to withstand disagreements. Pray for wisdom and discernment regarding your ‘when’, and trust God’s light to shine on the situation. Praying about the ‘when’ invites God to go before us and fight the powers and principalities seeking to destroy our marriages. In his guidance, even if postpones the ‘when’, there is reassurance that he has already resolved it for our good and his glory just as he did with the Egyptians in the wilderness.

Challenge: Turn your issues over to God and trust him to guide you to the right time to bring up or leave an issue alone. Ask him your ‘when’ and trust him with the outcome.

Ecclesiastes 3:7 - a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak,

Ephesians 4:26-27 – Be angry, and sin not; let not the sun go down upon your wrath; Neither give place to the devil.

Exodus 14:14 – The Lord shall fight for you, and ye shall hold your peace.

Deuteronomy 31:8 – The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you’ he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid. Do not be discouraged.