Six Elements for Resolving Marital Disagreements a 5-Day Devotion by Damia RolfeShembull

Day 5: WHY should this topic or disagreement impact your relationship?

What is the point behind this disagreement? Is it significant to the well-being of the marriage? Or are you focused on a win? We are told in Luke 6:45 that the mouth speaks what the heart is full of. We must pray that God will bridle our tongue and give us a clean heart with pure intentions when disagreeing with our spouses. It is our intention that will speak the loudest in a disagreement. It will show if all we’re focused on is being right and not maintaining a healthy and whole marriage. As said in Romans 12:18, “if possible, we are to live peaceably with all men.” Despite disagreements, maintaining peace with our spouse should be our goal. If we’re being honest, our spouses can be at the top of the list of people who know just how to get under our skin. We can find ourselves becoming immediately defensive. Yet and still, if our endgame isn’t to reach a healthy and whole resolution or to edify our marriage, we should pray about it and wait it out.

The word of God is able to judge the thoughts and intentions of our hearts. Sometimes, when we pray and ask him about our ‘why,’ we can even avoid an unnecessary disagreement. How is this possible? Not only through prayer but by reading the Bible. Hebrews 4:12 tells us that the word of God is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart. Every thorn that bothers us doesn’t have to be an issue that negatively affects our marriage. Nor does it have to be addressed. If necessary, vent with a trusted and wise friend who’ll pray and be honest with you. With enough daily issues in life, we don’t need to add a disagreement that’ll have no true relevance to our marriages other than to cause unnecessary frustration.

Challenge: Pray and invite God to show you your ‘why,’ and that you will speak with healthy and whole intentions to edify your marriage and maintain peace.

Romans 12:18 – If it be possible as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.

Hebrews 4:12 – For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than a two-edged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.

Proverbs 12:15 - The way of fools seems right to them, but the wise listen to advice.

Proverbs 28:26 - Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm.