Time for a TurnaroundShembull

FORGIVENESS

I used to believe the lie that I was the victim of what happened to me, whether it involved other people or a situation. It can be comforting to tell ourselves that someone else is to blame for our failures and pain. But that’s just an excuse for not taking responsibility, which keeps us stuck. When we believe we are victims, we look for excuses to go on with our destructive behaviors, trapping ourselves in a cycle of pain.

When we hold on to unforgiveness, we build walls around our hearts to protect us from the pain we’re feeling, which only traps us inside with the pain. Forgiveness opens the prison doors we’ve created around our hearts. It frees us from our victim mentality and allows us to take responsibility for our situations. Ultimately, no one can stop us from making the change that we need to make in our lives.

Sometimes we perceive God to be responsible for our pain, so we feel disappointed or even angry with God. We might feel like He let us down or like “He let this happen.” But God never lets us down. People do, God doesn’t. He has given us free will and authority over the world. He doesn’t let bad things happen, people do.

Somewhere, we have to take responsibility for the things for which we perceive God to be responsible. Bad things will always happen while people have free will. But God will always turn our mess into a message and our pain into a promise, if we live in forgiveness.

We also may need to forgive ourselves. The enemy wants us to let our guilt weigh us down and keep us from making steps towards change. Guilt, anger, and feelings of unworthiness serve no purpose in our lives. I didn't believe I deserved anything, because I let in feelings of unworthiness. But God sees me as righteous, just like how He sees Jesus.

I had to learn not to hate myself, punish myself, or condemn myself. When we forgive ourselves, we learn to see ourselves as God sees us, instead of how the accuser sees us. We begin to see that we have access to transformation, and because of the work Jesus did, we can partner with Him in transforming our lives. Jesus didn't hate Himself, and that's how He walked into His destiny.  Ultimately, agreeing with God and how He sees us will bring clarity for our destiny.

By forgiving God, ourselves and others, we get to take responsibility for our own lives and be the captain of our own ship. We realize that others aren’t the ones tying us down, which gives us power to make change. Maybe when I was a child I was a victim, but today I have choices and decisions to make. I cannot remain tied to my past and expect to live in victory. I can choose to either live in my history or in my destiny. Forgiveness lets us live in our destiny.

Reflection:

Who do you need to forgive today? It might be God, someone else, or yourself. Look into your feelings towards people in your life. Consider how unresolved tensions could reveal your unforgiveness.