I Like Her, Now What? A Single Guy’s Guide to the First DateShembull

Captivated

Maybe you can articulate it, maybe you can’t. Either way, one thing is clear. There’s something special about that girl. 

Like the hook of your favorite song, you just can’t get her out of your head. The more your thoughts linger, the more you find yourself caught in a whirlwind of questions. 

Should I make a move? What if she doesn’t like me? Or worse, what if she does like me but it doesn’t work out? 

Oh, to be Adam and have God miraculously present us with the girl of our dreams with no work and no risk. Guys around the world would gladly donate a rib if it meant they could avoid the paralyzing fear of rejection. Unfortunately, God only did that trick once.

Let’s be honest, the decision to pursue a girl is a dangerous one. There is a real possibility someone will get hurt. Many guys are so scared of what could go wrong, that they never take decisive action. They have many “girl-friends” but never a “girlfriend.”

Instead, they resort to flirting and “hanging out” in an endless attempt to “test the waters.” If one does manage to cross out of the friend zone, the transition is often ambiguous, causing both the guy and girl to be unsure of where they stand. Are you a couple when you start hanging out alone? Does it happen when you meet the grandparents? What about when the relationship starts to get physical, is that the magic threshold? 

Dating needs to be intentional and clear. As hard as it is, we cannot allow our fears of rejection to cause us to live in ambiguity. God calls men to lead, and leadership involves setting a clear direction.

Our willingness to take a risk and be clear about our intentions shows the girl we are interested in several important things. Such as:

• You see her as valuable.
• You respect her.
• You are willing to sacrifice your comfort and pride for her sake.
• You are courageous.
• You are willing to be a leader.

These truths are amplified tenfold if you are younger and must first go through a parent to gain permission.

There is no guarantee your advances will be accepted, and no guarantee everything will work out. So is it worth the risk?

Only you can say. But if you are reading this, chances are you already know the answer. The real question is, will you let fear get in the way?

If you are ready to take a risk, be sure to check out tomorrow’s reading “What are you looking for?” 

Pray: Lord, I know You have called me to be a leader, but I’m terrified. Fill me with an unshakable assurance of Your love, and give me the courage I need to take the next step if it is Your will. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

For more help, listen to Men Finding Courage on FamilyLifeToday.com.