In Love & Always ArguingShembull

Slow to Anger Wins The Race

I was speaking to a friend who said “ How can I be slow to anger if I was already angry before the argument started?” 

She was absolutely right! This proved the point that a disagreement only becomes an argument when you invite anger to have a seat at the table. Anger doesn't come in and exit quietly, it has to leave with an explosion. It’s a hot mess, always needing to have the final word! We don't have to give anger power over our hearts and mind. It is not a spirit that comes from God, when it causes destruction, harm and hurt, therefore it doesn’t belong in you. When there is a disagreement, team up WITH your partner against the problem. That is how we become slow to anger, by choosing to be partners with our loved one and not anger. 

In James 1:19, we are advised to be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. This is much easier said than done. Being slow to anger does not mean you ignore your emotions or that you avoid the problems. Instead, listen from a place of love, so that you’ll be able to hear beyond their words. Listen with the goal in mind: To fight for this love, to make your bond stronger than it was yesterday. The goal is not to find something offensive in what your partner says or to find something to correct, but rather to get to the root of the issue and to fight against it together. When we allow our anger to speak for us, we add on brand new problems, and miss the chance to work towards solutions. The Lord in His wisdom gave us one mouth and two ears to listen twice as much as we speak. Give your mind time to process what the person is saying before opening your mouth. The purpose of communicating is not to add fire to flame, but when you do speak, it should bring clarity not confusion.

Instead of anger, we should let love lead. We are reminded in 1 Corinthians 13:5 that love “is not easily angered…”. We too, should strive to emulate this characteristic, as it will help to bring peace and understanding in the midst of conflict.