Spiritual Leadership for Parents Of: Special NeedsChikamu

Community is Everything!

I realized the importance of community when Shelby was about 9 months old. I was so busy adjusting to our new life and the learning curve was steep. Over time, I became an expert at all things therapeutic: physical therapy, occupational therapy, feeding therapy, and how to balance time with a much deserving 3-year-old daughter, whose life had also changed. I was head down, in our own family world, and barely had time to look up, let alone acknowledge any of my feelings.

The truth is, I was lonely. I felt vulnerable and forgotten. One day, as I spoke on the phone with a friend, it all came to a head. She was checking in, and she could hear the hopelessness in my voice. I began catching her up on all the things, yet I was scattered and could not finish a thought. When I had finished, she paused and then gently uttered the phrase “I see you.” That was all it took for me to become completely undone. I started to weep. A cry came out that had been building for quite some time. It was cleansing. It was good. It refreshed my soul for a moment, and in that moment, I felt understood. I felt “seen!”

Our community had dwindled in the few years since Shelby’s birth. Both Dan and I were social beings and loved to be with friends, so this was a huge point of grief in our hearts. I was a mama with young kids. I needed the support of a community of other mamas. I knew I needed to find a community. I knew that I needed to surround myself with others who had experienced or were experiencing a similar journey. I knew Dan needed to find dads who understood his walk as well.

In the bible, God encourages us to walk with our brothers and sisters. I knew I needed to pursue these friendships. I knew I needed to seek a “like” community, and they were all probably head down just trying to survive as well. So how?

I began praying for community. I waited and reminded myself to trust God. I was hungry to be loved, as well as love on others, so I prayed and waited.

Acts 2:42-44: "They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. Everyone was filled with awe at the many wonders and signs performed by the apostles. All the believers were together and had everything in common."

Over the next 6 months, doors opened that brought us community. We did a few buddy walks for Down Syndrome and met some amazing, fun parents. We also joined a “buddy break” program at a local church that introduced us to many special needs friends and their parents. Also, shortly after we moved to Arizona, we found a church that has the most amazing special needs ministry. Our whole family is thriving under this covering. I now have a community that knows my walk, but I had to pursue anything that God put on my heart. I had to come out of my comfort zone and invite other mamas into friendship. It was well worth it. We are meant to be in community. We are meant to share our journey with others. We need encouragement. We need support. Most of all, we need to laugh!

Find a village that makes you laugh! You will begin to walk in hope!