When Friends CheatChikamu

Show up and show Jesus

What do you do if your friend cheated on their spouse? How do you show grace and truth as they try to put together the pieces after adultery? (No, you aren’t reading the same devotion as yesterday!)

You show grace when you show up and share Jesus. Sound easy? It isn’t. Adultery is so painful and brutal that many people keep their distance. But showing up is what Jesus did: “Now the tax collectors and sinners were all gathering around to hear Jesus. But the Pharisees and the teachers of the law muttered, ‘This man welcomes sinners and eats with them’” (Luke 15:1,2). Your presence will be a gift only surpassed by your reminders of Jesus’ love for the worst sinners.

You give truth when you remind them of the work. Like telling them to own this sin (instead of excusing it on the basis of their spouse’s behavior) and accept that the consequences are their fault. Or maybe their work is doing something nice, no matter what their spouse is doing for them. Suggest putting a note in their spouse’s lunch with five things they respect about him or her. Have them find a babysitter, take a walk, and agree to talk about something besides the affair. Help your friend set a short-term goal for their work, and hold them to it. Applaud them if they make it. Forgive them if they fail. They’ll need the encouragement.

Helping friends survive and, hopefully, thrive after an affair is hard but holy work. Embrace it and ask God’s blessing upon it.

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