Honoring God in our Singleness

In singleness, how do we navigate loneliness and the desire for companionship, love, and wanting to be wanted? What does it look like to honor God with our singleness?

What can we do when singleness is difficult? There are times of loneliness and worry about the future in the area of desire for marriage. There are challenges about feeling good about yourself without affirmation from others—knowing your worth and having healthy self-esteem based solely on what God says about you.

How do we embrace the God-given desires in our heart to love and be loved, without feeding our longings so much so that we cannot experience contentment? How do we live out our singleness as a healthy, whole, content, joyful person, just like Jesus did?

Honoring God looks like trusting Him.

For women:

At times, I hear my heart longing for someone to care for me in the way I see husbands and wives caring for each other. I hear myself longing to be desired and to be found attractive. I hear my heart longing for companionship in the way I see husbands and wives experiencing companionship.

• What does God say about my desire to be cared for? Jesus cares for me perfectly and continuously and sufficiently.
• What does God say about my desire to be wanted? Jesus desires me.
• What does God say about my desire for companionship? He is always with me. He is my closest friend who never leaves me.

For men:

The masculine spirit wants to give protection and strength; he often longs for this opportunity in a romantic relationship with a woman. In a time of waiting, or when this opportunity no longer exists, how can a man use this God-given gift in a righteous way?

• What does God say about my desire to protect and give strength?
• What opportunities do I have, apart from a romantic relationship, to use this gift in me for His Kingdom and righteousness?

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It comes down to trust. Let’s trust God with our love life. Let’s trust God with our heart. Let’s trust God with all of our emotions. Let’s trust God with our sexuality.

Trusting God also looks like never buying into the lie that you are alone. Any thought that produces hopelessness is not from God. Cast it down and ask God to show you what the truth is.

These are continuous prayers I pray (not a one-time prayer, but as often as needed):

“I trust You with my life. I trust You with my singleness. I keep my eyes fixed on You.”

“I know that You have not left me alone. Remind me of this again.”

“I trust You. I trust You. I trust You.”

“I place all my desires into Your hands. They are safe and cared for there. Again I submit to Your perfect timing, Your ways and Your wisdom.”

“I pray again for Your blessing of contentment to pour over my heart and body again.”

Talk with Jesus

• As I reflect on the difficult thoughts and feelings I have during challenging times within singleness (refer to your response from Day 1), show me what it practically looks like to honor You by trusting You with each of these emotions.

Prayer:

For women: This is a prayer I have prayed myself. Craft your own prayer, in your own words, and pour out your heart to God.

Lord, today, I am aware of my desire to be held, loved, and to feel secure. It’s easy to recall a moment where I felt that way in a relationship with a boyfriend, but mostly that feeling was only for a temporary moment. In You I am forever held, forever loved, forever secure. Today I choose to trust You with that. Show me how You meet these needs.

Keep my heart grounded in You, that I would not look to just anyone for that male companionship. Thank You, Lord, for the fathers, brothers, and friends You have placed in my life. In this time of singleness, may I know You as my First Companion. May You be established as First in my life, and may that never change even if my single status changes.

For men:

Craft your own prayer, in your own words, and pour out your heart to God.

Lord, you perfectly understand my masculine desire for significance, companionship, romance, and sex. You are familiar with every temptation I face!

I entrust my desires and longings to you—physical, emotional, and sexual. And I receive your grace and virtue to overcome each and every battle that I will face.

Thanks for completing Part 3 of the PureHeart Challenge. This is just the beginning! If this has been helpful and you want more, please continue on to Plan 4 of the 5-plan series. Is there anyone God is showing you to do these plans together with?

Plan 1—Sex & Sexuality - God’s Ways vs. The World’s Ways

Plan 2—Healing From A Past Of Sexual Sin

Plan 3—Honoring God With Our Sexuality In Singleness

Plan 4—Dealing With Temptation

Plan 5—Satisfied

These YouVersion plans are excerpts from the 55 Day PureHeart Challenge.

LADIES, if you want to go deeper into these topics, invite a friend and register today! The plans on Youversion have been adapted for both women and men, but the 55 Day Challenge is specifically for women. You can find the link for this and our other resources here :onfire.jp/en/pureheartjapan

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