Overcoming AngerChikamu

Let’s Talk About Anger

What is anger? It is a strong or subtle feeling of displeasure or annoyance. There are many synonyms for anger: rage, fury, indignation, wrath, outrage, exasperation, and more. When we feel anger, our heart rate can increase, our body may feel tense, we may clench our fists, and our thinking becomes irrational.

In my life, anger mostly shows up internally through irritability or bitterness that rises towards somebody I feel has rejected me. Like, that time in high school the girl I had a crush on came to the biggest dance of the year with me and then disappeared for the rest of the night. Then, I found her dancing with one of my best friends (#not bitter, at least, not anymore . . . I think!).

Is anger wrong? No. Anger is an emotion. God created us with all kinds of emotions: love, joy, peace, sadness, amusement, awe, fear, disgust, surprise, boredom, and much more. We are complex beings. God made us this way intentionally, with wisdom and love. He made us in His image. And the truth is, God displays many different emotions in Scripture. He feels compassion (Psalm 103:13). He feels grief (Psalm 78:40). He feels joy (Zephaniah 3:17). He even feels anger (Numbers 32:13).

Our emotions cannot be bad. There are no good emotions or negative emotions. All are good and God-given. But what we do with them matters. God is holy. He is righteous even when He is angry (Psalm 7:11). Like Him, we should have righteous anger about the injustice we see. We should allow ourselves to feel angry about the hurt, grief, and pain we or those we love have experienced. There is “a time for everything” (Ecclesiastes 3:1) and a proper place for anger.

Ephesians 4:26 says, “In your anger, do not sin.” As humans, we often end up lashing out at others or we have negative thoughts towards them when we are angry. At other times, we withhold love and we don’t treat people the way they deserve to be treated. Sometimes, we hold on to our anger and become bitter. When that happens, we are not free. We are held captive by our own anger. The good news is we can learn to feel and process our anger without sinning and hurting others.

God, sometimes I burn with anger. I feel I can’t control my temper. I think, say, and do hurtful things. Please help me. I need to know how to handle my emotions.