Recipes for a Sweet Child Amid ChallengesChikamu

Oh, the endless tattling. I didn’t know it was possible to find so many things to tattle on each other about. But I’ve learned the possibilities are limitless, especially in high-stress times. We had already tried the whole, “Only tell us if it’s something major, like someone’s bleeding, dying, or doing something extremely unsafe.” Well, wouldn’t you know those sweet little darlings’ definitions of major is everything—all the time! It sounds like this:

“He looked at me funny.”

“She said sorry in a mean voice.”

“He won’t play how I want him to.”

“She’s bossing me around.”

I could go on, but for all of our sakes, I’ll leave it there. Because I know you probably have plenty of tattling stories too.

I often wondered why all kids seem to know to tattle from the time they are toddlers. I believe it’s a God-given trait, an innate desire for justice and righteousness trapped in the heart of an underdeveloped brain and immature spirit. As parents, we get to wrestle with how to tame the tattling beast without stripping our kids of their desire to fight for what is right. No pressure, huh?

Thankfully, with much effort and repetition, we can give our kids the tools to solve problems and resolve conflicts as they arise. We can encourage the heart behind it—at least when it’s justice and not retribution.

Teachable Moment

Let your kids know, “It’s important to calm down first so you are thinking clearly. If it’s a minor issue, ask yourself if it’s better to just let it go. Otherwise, work on solving the problem with that person. Only after you’re calm and have been unable to resolve the problem together would you come involve me or another adult. Sometimes people may try to convince you to keep a secret about something bad by saying it would be tattling. But when a person does something that could harm someone or makes you feel unsafe, it is always important to share that with a parent or trusted adult.”

Parents’ Prayer

Jesus, help me not to seek revenge or hold a grudge when I am wronged and to teach my children to do the same. Purify our hearts and fill us with Your love and compassion for one another. Equip us to be problem-solvers and peacemakers. In Jesus’s name we pray. Amen.