Reframe Your Shame: 7-Day Prayer GuideChikamu

Reframe Your Normal

Every “first” is an opportunity to practice reframing shame-based thinking. It was way too easy to slip back into my old habit of allowing myself to spiral into shame because I was familiar with this pattern of thinking. But choosing to disrupt that thinking with positivity and affirmations of truth helped me bravely face my family, friends, and new reality at home. Truth encouraged me to believe that I am loved and that my family wanted me home, sober, and well.

A psalm that is especially meaningful to me says, “I sought the Lord, and he answered me and delivered me from all my fears. Those who look to him are radiant, and their faces shall never be ashamed” (Psalm 34:4–5 esv). When I look back at pictures from when I first got home from rehab, I can see a glow and radiance about me. Isaiah 61 is another powerful passage, and one of the things it promises is that in our trauma, abuse, and pain, we can receive double honor for our shame (v. 7). How encouraging to know that even after our mistakes, addictions, and dysfunction, God wants to give us honor for our shame. The love we receive from God and others opens up our hearts to a new and better way of life as we navigate our new normal.

Now, as I scroll through photos on my phone from those first days back at home, I see the new me and notice how different I look, which matched how good I felt on the inside. I wasn’t faking a smile or pretending to be happy. I actually was happy. Despite how good I felt about my new reality when I scrolled back and saw photos of the old Irene, I just wanted to press Delete. So I pressed Delete in my phone and on social media, erasing reminders of the old Irene, that shameful person I was before going to rehab. My eyes were droopy in some of the photos, and I could remember that I was under the influence at the time the photo was taken. I stared in disbelief at the radical change I could see in myself and how sick I had been in comparison to the woman I was finally okay looking at in the mirror. This moment defined my transition from being a disgrace to surrendering to God’s amazing grace that rescued me from myself and my addiction.

Once our mind’s eye is open to the joy and possibilities of a new way of life, the old ways of thinking, of relating to people and God, and of coping with stress just aren’t going to work anymore. I got off the plane and ran to the baggage claim area to meet my kids after the torture of not seeing them for forty days. We dramatically ran to one another and embraced and cried. It felt like a scene straight out of a Hallmark movie. I will never forget our meeting.

Plus, I have the selfie we took with the balloons they brought me to document the moment. I don’t tend to take a lot of selfies because I rather enjoy being in the moment, but I knew that when I looked back at that picture, it would remind me of the opportunity I had for a second chance at a healthy relationship with my kids. That photo helps me keep the pain near to my heart, so I don’t forget how close I was to losing them and losing my life.

We often don’t see God moving in the moment, but He is always at work in us and through us. He is always working for our good, even when we don’t see Him working. I was not disqualified from ministry or pastoring. In fact, my mess enhanced the call of God on my life. It was only a matter of time before God used it for good.

We can find comfort in God, for He is not limited in grace and power. He is sovereign and desires more than anything for us to receive His great love and tender mercies. We can receive all that He has to offer us when we surrender to Him, because He is faithful, and His love never ends. Psalm 107:1 says, “Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever.” Lamentations 3:22–23 says, “Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.”

I thank God for His great faithfulness to us when ours dwindles, fades, and drifts in our weakest moments. And that is such a great comfort to lean into on the road to recovery.

As much as we have a desire and every intention to make better choices, stay the course, stop the habit, and change our negative thought life, our own strength only gets us so far. Our flesh (humanity) is weak, and our strength will eventually wane. Spending time with God in prayer strengthens our spirit and connection to God, and it is the Spirit that gives us the strength to overcome temptation when we are weak.

Prayer Guide

• The Father has a plan for your life. It’s not too late to allow Him to control your future. Thank Him.

• Ask the Lord to take your past and reframe it for the future.

• Look to Jesus for opportunities to share your story.

• Express your love for the Lord and your trust in His plan.

Prayer for You

Eternal God, thank You for loving me and for having a plan for my life. Forgive me for the times I took control and varied from the plan. I commit my life to You from this day forward. I ask that You renew my desire to live out Your plan for me. Use me and my story to help others learn about Your compassion, Your patience, Your forgiveness. I commit each and every day of the rest of my life to serving You and to sharing You. I love You beyond words. Amen.