How to maintain a solid marriageChikamu

Investing in your partner

You must invest constantly and increasingly; as the years go by, you must invest more.

Couples, in general, expect to celebrate one or two events in the year. They expect to give gifts only on specific occasions. Marriage is monotonous for many; habit has turned them into automatons. It is just a routine of drudgery. With this panorama, we cannot say that the couple is happy; much less, that they will be together for life. We do not join someone to escape and create a new prison.

Thoughtful gestures are necessary to make your future spouse fall in love with you, and to keep them in love every day during the marriage. A chaotic life has complicated everything so much that we are dependent and driven by sometimes torturous schedules. Loving gestures do not appear on the list of household needs, yet they should occupy an important place in the marital relationship. We all need a piece of chocolate or a round of applause to get ahead in the race.

Such things communicate the value placed on your spouse. It is very nice to know that your partner expresses themselves with words that are meant to encourage you and build you up. Learn from your partner, recognize his or her strengths, and value his or her point of view. Tangible expressions of affection are also important––such as reading a book together to edify the relationship, buying their favorite candy, or writing a beautiful card to express love and gratitude. These efforts fill the home with joy.

Marriage is meant to edify. To achieve growth, follow a fundamental principle: dedicate time to each other as a couple. Song of Songs 4:1 speaks to us of complicity, coexistence, sharing, a time of intimacy, and togetherness; it describes a relationship where both wish to share life, which should be part of the marriage plan. Devote at least one day a week for the two of you for some romance, a dinner, doing whatever it takes to spend time together. Agree to share some intimate time and break bread away from other people. This is not a time to make demands; rather, it is to complement each other, edify each other, and enjoy each other.

It is a significant investment to plan an annual vacation. The couple, once a year, should go out without their children, just the two of them, even if it is only for a short trip where they can enjoy each other, resting and being together. It should be a glorious time. It is necessary to invest in retreats where your marriage is strengthened, in couple’s books, in articles from wise people who know the Scriptures. Let us invest in marriages with godly values. Deliberately seek out people who add value to your life; seek advice from wise people who have been married for many years.