Aftershock - Making Decisions and Preparing for ActionChikamu

Decide to Confront Your Husband

You are now at a critical juncture in your life. Those are strong words, not to be taken lightly. You need to confront your husband. Specifically, you need to ask him to:

1. Acknowledge that he needs help

2. Agree to treatment that fits his situation.

Maybe you’re thinking, I’ve already asked him to do these two things a dozen times, and he just refuses to change. We go right back to where we’ve been all along. This time you’ll be asking in a different way and allowing your husband to experience natural, logical consequences if he refuses to get help. (We’ll talk in more detail about consequences in section 7.)

This will be a serious conversation that can accurately be described as a loving but firm and unwavering confrontation. And this time you’ve finally reached the place where you’re ready to stop living with the pain and degradation you’ve endured. You’re ready to stand up and take a positive step that can motivate real change in your marriage. By now you’re well-informed and can make this decision with confidence! You’ve grappled with the aftershock of your husband’s actions, worked on understanding your own emotions and distorted thinking, recognized the importance of self-care, and learned a great deal about the power of addiction and why your husband does what he does.

If you’re ready to choose the recommended path, the rest of this section (and the next) will take you from this decision point through:

· Your husband’s response

· Your response to him

· The attitudes and actions that can help you both move toward a restored marriage

As you move ahead with your decision and prepare for action, you are to be affirmed for your commitment and character for making this difficult decision. May God grant you all of the power and love that is yours in Him. No matter how you feel, God is at work, and He is with you!

Next, we’ll talk about anticipating your husband’s response.