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Lie #5: My boyfriend will change after marriage
Many girls fall for the "bad boys" or "broken ones" thinking they will fix them! A girl may argue with herself, “I know he drinks too much and chases other girls, but I think he will change after we are married.”
Now that’s a blunder!
Listen girl, you are not called to fix things, and neither is marriage a quick-fix solution to the issues of your life, but Jesus is.
Somehow girls (and even many parents) believe that at the marriage altar, suddenly something will happen, and boom, the boy will change and become responsible. That’s a big lie. No miracles happen at the altar. What you see is what you get. Marriage is not a solution to one's addictions or loose lifestyle. In fact, everything that was in hiding will be exposed even more after marriage.
Take the case of this girl who was in a relationship for four years with an unbeliever who was addicted to porn. The boy did everything to please the girl and even "accepted" Jesus as his Savior. However, he never stopped watching porn nor was there a change in his lifestyle. The girl continued the relationship thinking things would change post marriage, until God had to open her eyes, and all the lies of the devil started getting exposed. Thankfully she ended that relationship. Meanwhile the boy has never gone to church and is still battling his addictions.
As singles, keep a guard on the relationships you are entertaining in your life, and when you decide to marry someone, marry because you love him the way he is and not because you can make him a pet project to change. Remember the purpose of marriage is not to change someone but to enjoy that someone God gave you. Besides, the only person you can change is YOU; other people, you are called to love.
Reflection:
- What are the addictions your "would-be partner" is having, and is he seeking counsel or help to overcome, or does he give an excuse that it would be done later.
- Is God showing you red flags in your "would-be partner" that you are choosing to ignore? Have these red flags destroyed marriages before?
About this Plan
Hey girl, are you single and ready to mingle? Or are you in a relationship, and you are wondering it is from God? This devotional is crafted especially for you, as you grapple through your single years, so you have God’s perspective of singlehood and marriage. Each day a lie of the enemy is exposed and countered with the promise of God.
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