Unconditional Love?

A baby brings pure joy into our lives. It doesn’t have to do anything to be loved — its very existence is enough to fill its parents with happiness. Even though the nights are short and exhausting, most parents would never think of withholding the care their baby needs. It doesn’t have to give anything in return; they love it unconditionally.

However, when it comes to adults, unconditional love is often much harder. We expect certain behaviors from those around us, such as respect, understanding, empathy, and independence. When these expectations are not met and our needs and desires are ignored, we feel hurt. But what matters is not our hurt, but how we respond. Do we hold on to our anger and allow disappointment to harden our hearts?

It becomes particularly challenging when the other person is struggling with illness or other burdens and is doing their best — even if that "best" doesn't seem good enough in our eyes. Due to our human nature, we tend to put ourselves at the center. But the Bible says we can love because Jesus loved us first (1 John 4:19). His love calls us to accept others unconditionally — to see them as they are and find joy in them.

When we are hurt or disappointed, this kind of love can seem unreachable. Our pain cries out for comfort and justice. But Jesus knows this pain. He suffered Himself without ever being guilty. He knows exactly how we feel and offers us comfort and healing.

This is where forgiveness begins. God forgives us when we place unrealistic expectations on others and hold on to our hurts. Forgiveness means letting go of the resentment and no longer holding the other person's guilt against them. Jesus encourages us to pass on this forgiveness — and promises that we too will be forgiven if we forgive others (Matthew 6:14-15).

Forgiveness is a conscious decision, often before we "feel" it. Yet, Jesus gives us the strength to carry it out (Philippians 2:13). The feelings often follow later. The wonderful thing is when we learn to see others through God’s eyes, our unconditional love — which works through Jesus in us — can touch and even heal others. This love convinces, moves, and brings about true change.

Next Step: Ask God to show you where you can release expectations in order to love unconditionally, and receive His peace.