Day 4: Growing Pains

Adulthood has evolved significantly over the years. Traditional milestones like marriage, homeownership, and stable careers, once seen as markers of adulthood, are now often delayed or redefined. The concept of “adulting” has emerged as a way to describe the often overwhelming and challenging aspects of this life stage. This term has helped normalize the struggles of adulthood and reduce the stigma around admitting that it can be tough.

From that perspective, I can see why adulting is so annoying and feels so overwhelming at times for these few reasons;

• We are adulting alone. Our society, particularly in the US, lives our lives alone more than ever before. We may have moments of community but at large, we are not adulting in community.
• We are adulting too fast. Because the world is so fast-paced, it can be hard to slow down and honor the maturation process. We rushed into a job, a relationship, a purchase, or a decision. Instead of pacing ourselves, we grow up quickly, take on too much too soon, and bear the weight all by ourselves.
• We are adulting for ourselves. Many time we get caught up in our truth, our accomplishments, and our progress. Our choices oftentimes get so self-centered that we lose sight of why we do things we do and who is impacted, and as long as we want it and the benefit goes directly to us, it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks or feels, just as long as we are satisfying ourselves.
• We are adulting outside of purpose. I believe deeply in purpose and that nothing can change or destroy your purpose. But it is something you cannot just wait to pursue or take lightly. And because we have spent so much time being told to pursue passion, we miss a chance to get deeper and we start living out these surface-level desires that don’t match God’s purpose for our lives.
• Lastly, and most importantly, we are adulting without God. We know who God is, and we say we love Him. But just like we want to experience the joy of adulthood without the concerns it brings, we have the same view of God. We want His blessings without the burdens they may bring; we want God to grow us but we don’t want the grooming and the pruning that comes with the process. We want him to save us but we don’t want Him to tell us what to do. We want Him to reserve our victory but want don’t want to live life His way.

When you adult without God, you operate like that little kid who couldn’t wait to grow up - denying the process of spiritual maturity and the necessary role it plays in your destiny.

You skip the steps needed to cultivate a real connection and instead, you settle for a cliche, God-in-the-sky type relationship.

You ignore the provisions God has already set aside for you, and instead you do it yourself.

Or maybe you trusted and believed God for a thing and when it didn’t happen, instead of clinging closer to get clarity, you chose only to trust and believe in yourself.

Or maybe you experienced some success that you believe came from God but instead of locking in with Him deeper, now that you’ve arrived you neglect to serve as you once did and He is less of a priority to you.

And just like a child would believe, “When I’m grown, I won’t need anyone,” you took that immature mindset into adulthood, denying the spiritual maturity that is a must for your life’s progression. We may think we can manage on our own or without the growing pains but we forget that true maturity comes from a deep relationship with Him and surrendering to His will.

Reflections:

1. How have societal and cultural changes affected your view of adulthood and its challenges?
2. In what ways have you tried to deny or delay the process of maturity?
3. How can you better integrate God into your daily decisions and responsibilities to align more closely with His purpose for your life?

Affirmations:

1. I embrace the challenges of adulthood with faith, knowing that God is guiding me through every step.
2. I trust that God’s plan for my life is greater than my own understanding.
3. I am not alone in my journey; God is with me, helping me grow spiritually and emotionally.