Made to Belong - 5 Practices to Cultivate Community in a Culture of LonelinessSample

We all long to belong, but we just don’t know how.

We are looking for spiritual friendships—a deep and meaningful community.

And in my research, I have found these core five practices of belonging to be most helpful in cultivating healthy relationships and community. The first practice: PRIORITY.

Much of the West and many parts of the world have moved away from the tight-knit communities our grandparents experienced. The call for jobs, education, and regular travel has made it easier for us to uproot and go elsewhere. These pursuits that make us more transient aren’t necessarily bad in themselves, but they can be dangerous in our journey of belonging if we aren’t mindful. For example, there is a big difference between moving because we’re restless, constantly chasing after the next big thing, and moving because our rent has become unaffordable.

We can go through an entire day without encountering anyone. And many people are opting for this. We can shop and gather information online, at the touch of a button. We even work from home. In either case, unless we now prioritize connecting with people in meaningful ways, the structure of our modern society is designed for disconnection. It leads us to actually believe we can live without others.

Since we are able to meet our basic needs all by ourselves, the need for belonging has taken a backseat, and now we are paying for it with the pain of loneliness and high anxiety.

This is why it’s so important to heed the warning and encouragement offered in the book of Hebrews. The author reminded us that living in difficult times calls for us to prioritize drawing near to Jesus and not to give up “meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching” (Hebrews 10:25 NIV, emphasis added). It is so easy for us to devalue our need for connection and habitually say, “Maybe later,” or “When I feel like it and have more time.”

My habit is to be selfish with my time or withdraw from others when there is a conflict in a relationship. I have lost countless good friends because of that. What might be your pattern in relationships? We desperately need to fight to prioritize relationships. No matter where you are on the introvert-extrovert spectrum, whether it’s easy or hard for you to start conversations with others, prioritizing will bring focus to your belonging journey.

Who is God highlighting in your life today to reach out to and connect with?

Prayer

Lord, thank You for reminding me that You have created me to be part of a community. Please help me to develop healthy relationships and to prioritize those You have placed around me. Amen.