Student Leadership 601: Conflict and Communication Sample

Day Four — Walk The Talk

Yesterday we talked about what you can do to better navigate conflict. But what happens when your own actions are brought up in the discussion?

Taking responsibility for your part in a situation or argument is never easy. It can be really embarrassing and downright humbling. No one wants to admit they’re wrong — especially when they’re viewed as a leader.

“Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time.” 1 Peter 5:6 (NIV).

Peter knew a thing or two about being humbled — remember, out of all the disciples, he seemed to be called out the most for running his mouth. In Matthew 16, we read how Peter literally rebuked Jesus (that’s a bold move, by the way) and Jesus responded by saying, “Get behind me, Satan.” Ouch. Getting called “Satan” by the Son of God had to be humiliating. We’re not told exactly how Peter responded (we’re guessing he shut his mouth), but we can assume he didn’t make an excuse, get angry, and block Jesus, because we continue to read about him being a follower of Jesus in later parts of the Bible.

And this wasn’t the only time Peter’s mouth got him in trouble. When Jesus was arrested, Peter was the guy who firmly denied even knowing Him. In Jesus’ darkest hour, Peter didn’t build Him up — he betrayed Him. And after Jesus rose from the dead, He found Peter and gently challenged him about his betrayal. Again, Peter could have made excuses and become defensive, because isn’t that what we tend to do when our behavior is called into question?

But we have to give Peter some credit, because when Jesus called him out, Peter took the constructive feedback with humility and learned from it, which allowed his relationships and influence to grow.

Peter would eventually die defending Jesus, proving his loyalty not only with his words, but with his actions. And in between his infamous betrayal and his martyr death on his own cross, he would become the rock on which Jesus would build His church.

Peter is proof we don’t have to be perfect to be powerful leaders — but we do have to own our mistakes and learn from the losses. In the end, your actions will always speak louder than words, so make sure you’re sending a good message, not only with the words you speak, but the life you live.

Practical Step: Read Matthew 16:21-28 and then read Acts 2:37-41. In what ways do you see Peter putting Jesus’ words from Matthew 16 into practice in Acts 2? What mistakes do you need to own and learn from? How could owning your mistakes now help you in the future?