See-Through Marriage By Ryan and Selena FrederickSample

Day Six

A Temple of the Holy Spirit

Scripture: Isaiah 61:1–4; Romans 12:1–2; 1 Corinthians 6:19-20

Physiological needs can often be the biggest unconsidered factor when it comes to conflicts between you and your spouse. For example, communication between a husband and wife might go south simply because of timing. If one or both spouses are tired and don’t have the bandwidth or energy to talk and connect, then you have to consider that maybe this isn’t the best time to dive deep into that difficult conversation about x, y, and z. 

Sometimes the changes we need to make in our marriage aren’t as monumental as we think they need to be. Perhaps there is some fine-tuning or small adjustments that will yield us the results our hearts desire: connection, clear communication, and just plain feeling healthy! The two of us have had many arguments that could have simply been avoided or less heated if we had simply known that the other was hungry or tired. 

One area in which physiological needs affect us in a more significant way is intimacy and sex. God created sex for deep connection and a oneness that includes both the physical and the spiritual. In order for you to get to the root of a partly physiological and partly spiritual need such as sex, it’s important to be see-through with your spouse about your past. 

We’re not recommending you go through every detail of your sexual past in a way that would hurt your spouse (if you’re the one who needs to share about past sexual experiences), but we are saying that you need to own your sin in a way that is humble, is repentant, and seeks reconciliation. 

If you have experienced sexual abuse in your past and haven’t shared it with your spouse yet, we would encourage you to be transparent. Allow your spouse to see through you and give them an opportunity to love you more completely and fully. 

When you humbly ask God to open your eyes to the unknown needs or hurts your spouse might be dealing with, you are asking him to help you to have a see-through marriage. One way we can love our spouse with a biblical love is by seeing and dealing with each other’s physiological needs to the fullest extent we are able. 

Read Romans 12, ideally with your spouse. How do our physiological selves and spiritual selves relate to this passage?