See-Through Marriage By Ryan and Selena FrederickSample

Day Two

Radical Transparency

Scripture: Genesis 3:8–10; Jeremiah 9:23–24; 2 Corinthians 12:1–10

Imagine a couple who looks like they have the perfect marriage. Here’s a secret: they don’t have it all figured out. Everyone is in need of deeper fellowship, cleansing from unrighteousness, and help with walking in the light.

Recognizing your own human need for validation is the first step in having an honest life that not only acknowledges, but also actually boasts in your weakness so that Christ’s power may be made more vivid. As Paul said, "But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me."

—2 Corinthians 12:9

If we’re honest, the real struggle is admitting we’re imperfect in a way that truly reveals our deep need for a Savior and for unconditional love.

Yet God is most glorified in us when He shines most brightly through us. We are created for a see-through life, and every sanctifying experience on this side of eternity is meant to root out, work out, and heal our impurities—all so that we may transmit God’s light more brightly and more vividly.

Our tendency as fallen people is to hide or pretend—we feel safer that way. Just like Adam and Eve in the garden, we feel exposed and ashamed, so we hide (or attempt to hide) from God and others.

To human eyes, our hiding doesn’t always look obvious. In fact, we live most opaquely not by running away and avoiding others in some blatant act of moral rebellion, but we hide in the open by camouflaging our true selves and posturing in ways we believe will make us more lovable.

The problem is that hiding has the opposite effect. Instead of feeling more loved, we feel more lost. Instead of feeling more accepted, we feel more alone. That’s because human beings are not wired for hiding. The very act grates against the reality God created for us in the garden—to be naked and unashamed, known and still loved, totally exposed and perfectly protected.

You were designed to live in vulnerable fellowship with God, your spouse, and others. There is too much good on the other side of transparency to live without it.

In what ways do you hide from your spouse or others to try to appear more lovable?