Just Breathe: Hope And Help For Those Drowning In The Pain Of AddictionSample

Evaluate my Life with Fearless Honesty Part 3

You can also expect something else to happen on this self-exploratory surgery. Just as you are discovering the truth about you, a cold front will start moving in and that old dark cloud called denial will try to blanket you and blind you to the things you need to expose to the light. And you’ll find yourself saying, Well, I guess that’s really not that big of a deal. I’m not really like that. I don’t need to write that down. I’m not letting go of that. You’ll mark through it, get the eraser going, or hit delete. 

Now, you can see why fearless honesty is needed. Because to go deep within yourself and be ruthlessly honest is not an easy deal. To get beyond denial is a constant battle and seeing the naked truth is not exactly a trip to the local Dairy Queen. 

But here’s the truth I’ve learned: the sin you want to conceal the most is the sin you need to reveal the most. And if the goal is getting well and walking free, then what’s the point of hiding stuff? 

Let me recommend that you get in a quiet, uninterruptible place where you can be still and think. Don’t rush this. If this is a new experience for you, you’ll need to set aside a large block of time. Pray the “Search me, O God” type prayer and start writing it down as God leads you. This process is about going after deep core character defects like selfishness, pride, envy, insecurity, approval seeking, greed, fear, worry, bitterness, unresolved conflict, and unresolved guilt. Deep stuff. Hidden stuff. God is more than able to bring that out. I know because he’s brought them to the surface in me. 

It’s also so helpful to get another person, a trusted friend, involved in this process. Sharing this list with my sponsor was one of the most, if not the most, powerful steps I took to find freedom. I never thought I would be able to bring that stuff to light with someone else and have them stick around long enough to listen. When I was able to share everything with my sponsor that I’d ever done, it felt like a thousand pounds fell off my shoulders. I actually didn’t lose any weight, but it sure felt like it! 

God wants us to do this together; we are all fellow strugglers on a grace journey. Find a trusted person who understands the value of what you’re doing. Confide in someone who is mature enough that they won’t be shocked or post your stuff on social media. Choose someone who knows the Lord well enough that they can reflect his grace and wisdom to you.