Just Breathe: Hope And Help For Those Drowning In The Pain Of AddictionSample

Make Amends Part 3

As you prepare to extend forgiveness, let me tell you what I’ve learned forgiveness is not. Forgiveness is not forgetting. You really can’t forget everything. Hurts leave scars and sometimes even constant daily reminders because of the circumstances in which their actions have placed you. Forgiveness is not saying, “It’s no big deal.” It was a big deal. It hurt. Don’t minimize it or rationalize it. 

Forgiveness is not a feeling. Forgiveness is a choice, a decision of your will. You don’t wait until you feel like forgiving. It’s a decision to surrender to the authority and leadership of God. To do this is a step of obedience. Remember the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. 

I’m learning new stuff from the Bible every day of my life, like this one, “Never pay back evil with more evil. Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honorable. Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone. Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God. For the Scriptures say, ‘I will take revenge; I will pay them back,’ says the Lord” (Romans 12:17–19). 

You need to give up your right to get even and let God deal with them. And don’t wait for the other person to ask for your forgiveness; there’s a little pride thing going on with that. You make the first move. Jesus, who was completely innocent, modeled that on the cross when he said, “Father, forgive them. They do not know what they are doing” (Luke 23:34 NLV). 

Compile your list and as you get to that first person, make the choice to forgive him or her for every painful memory that comes to your mind. You focus on that person until you are sure you have dealt with all the remembered pain. Release them to God and start working your way down the list. 

You say, God, I choose to forgive ____ for what they have done or failed to do, which made me feel ____. I choose not to hold on to this resentment anymore. Thanks for setting me free from the bondage of my bitterness. I give up my right to get even and ask you to heal my damaged emotions. 

Make amends. Choose forgiveness and walk out of the prison of bitterness.