When Relationships Get ComplicatedSample

Limitations

Relationships are essential to our well-being—but we all have limits. We may not live next door to our closest friends. We can’t spend all our time with family. We can’t get to know every new acquaintance as deeply as we’d like.

Not only are there limits that impact our relationships; relationships themselves can be limiting in our life. Parents prioritize the needs of their young children. Adult children may be committed to caring for their elderly parents. Spouses covenant together to limit their romantic love only to one another. And friendships have their own way of asking things of us. Like any constraint, these limits can feel inhibiting. But when healthy, they also create and reveal the strong bonds of relationships that have developed over time.

Finally, there are limits to the relationships themselves. They can’t always provide all we want from them. In his sermon “Troubled Friendships,” Dr. Stanley says, “There are some people who have an enormous amount to give. They know how to love and they know how to express it. They know how to give of themselves. But then other people don’t—not only do they not give of themselves or love you in return; they don’t even know how.”

One way to confront limitations is to adjust expectations, as we discussed yesterday. Another way is to develop a healthy number of relationships, so that we aren’t expecting any one person to meet all our needs. No relationship by itself—not even a marriage—is intended to be enough for us. Like everything else in our corrupted world, relationships will never be perfect and should never be the object of our worship. Only God can provide everything we need.

REFLECT

• Have you ever been in a relationship with someone who wasn’t able to love you the way you loved him or her? How did you deal with the limitations?
• Read Mark 10:28-31 and Matthew 12:46-49. How would you characterize Jesus’ view of human relationships? What do these passages suggest about the sufficiency of those connections?
• Do you think Jesus is asking the disciples to abandon their friends and family? Are there any Bible verses or passages that support your view?