Being Whole: 21 Days to Overcoming Relational TraumaSample

CONNECTION:

The power of connection is immense and can have a profound impact on our physical, emotional, and mental health. We usually connect with partners who are similar to our parental figures. If we had a difficult relationship with a parent, we may be attracted to partners who remind us of that parent in an attempt to resolve unresolved emotional conflicts. The process of resolving these conflicts often involves some sort of relational trauma or codependency along the way. Unraveling this type of dysfunction can take time to notice and abandon. A major component of loss connection is dissociation. Trauma can trigger dissociation as a way for the mind to protect itself from the overwhelming emotional or physical pain associated with the trauma. Dissociation may manifest as feeling disconnected from reality, experiencing gaps in memory, feeling numb or detached from emotions, or having a sense of watching oneself from outside the body.

Avoidant attachment, which is a coping mechanism that involves emotional distancing and detachment, can be a common response to trauma. Trauma survivors may develop an avoidant attachment style as a way to protect themselves from further harm, by avoiding close emotional connections that could leave them vulnerable. Avoidant attachment may manifest as difficulty in forming close relationships, fear of intimacy, and a reluctance to trust others. Having a restorative relationship with God is vital to developing a sense of trust for others. The resilience and courage that is only found in connecting wholeheartedly with God, is the strength needed foster healthy connections with others.

Questions to Ponder:

Are you struggling with connecting with others, if yes, why? What is your greatest relational fear and why?