Anger Management for MenSample

Slow Down Your Anger

What makes you angry? Seriously, do you know what makes you angry?

This is Vince Miller.

Our text today is from Proverbs 15:18. It reads:

A hot-tempered man stirs up strife, but he who is slow to anger quiets contention. —Proverbs 15:18

I believe anger is one of man’s great problems. But I think this problem is very misunderstood and over-diagnosed because we focus too much on the effects and not the cause.

So, what is anger?

Anger is a feeling. A man will experience and express this feeling when he is irritated by some event. Therefore, anger signals that something does not sit right with him, and he will sometimes express this irritation in an outburst that is easier to see.

But anger is often more defined by the strife others experience rather than the feeling of being signaled by an irritating event. And because men move through the process so quickly, most have trouble slowing it down before it becomes an outburst. Here’s how the process works:

Triggering Event --> Emotional Irritation --> Feeling of Anger --> Outburst --> Strife

But the wisdom of the proverb is this: slow the process down.

And the best way to slow it down is to ask yourself, "Why? Why am I angry?" Just take a hard look at the triggering event, the irritation, and your feelings, and ask yourself why. And remember, the only thing that stops the progression of anger is the man who knows why he is angry. And when he knows why, he is able also to quiet the contention with others.

Here is your call to action today:

When you get angry today, which you will at some point, I want you to slow it down. Count to ten, slowly. And then ask the question, "Why am I angry right now?" If you stir up this question and you know the answer, you’ll be less likely to stir up strife with others.