Undaunted.Life: An Undaunted MarriageSample

DAY 5: RESILIENCE   

The Elements of an Undaunted Marriage:

1. HEADSHIP

2. DIRECTION

3. DISCIPLINE

4. FIGHTING

5. RESILIENCE 

If you have made it to the final day of this devotional, it is likely that you showed some resilience to get here. Our modern world does a great deal to distract us, and we individually fill up our lives with things that take our time and attention away from the things that we know are more important. With that said, thank you for sprinting through the finish line. Thank you for taking the time to invest in yourself, your bride, and your marriage. 

To remind you, Undaunted.Life exists for the purpose of cultivating manly resilience. Specifically, we provide content and experiences that build spiritual, mental, and physical RESILIENCE. If we could pick one word that describes what we want our men to have in this world, it would be resilience. The main reason for that is because many of us do not naturally have the opportunity to cultivate resilience on a day-to-day basis. The majority of us live very cush lives devoid of truly difficult challenges, which is in stark contrast to what men were required to do in the past. We don’t have to hunt for our food day-in and day-out; we just go to the grocery store. We don’t have to defend the boundaries of our property; we have a military and police force to take care of that. We don’t have to crush workouts and eat clean; we have medical procedures and miracles-in-a-pill that will keep us “healthy” if we need it.

It is circumstances like these that have created an environment of malaise and softness, especially for modern men. Our society has also moved towards a hyper form of feminism that regularly attacks the core of masculinity, even going so far as to call masculinity “toxic” in most situations. The modern-day church doesn’t get a pass here either, fellas. Most churches today actively tamp down any displays of true, robust, aggressive masculinity. We look on stage and see effeminate lead pastors and worship leaders that are easy for women to digest and level with but repel strong, vigorous men, and yet they have the gall to lambast men regularly for “not stepping up” or “not honoring their commitments” when they do nothing to cultivate and environment of honorable, great men in their congregations.

By the way, we’re not talking about the cartoon caricature 4-wheel drivin’, skeet shootin’, Natty Light drinkin’, woman chasin’ “manhood” that we’ve been influenced to see as real. I’m talking about real men: Men that don’t run off with their Assistant and leave their wife and kids behind to deal with the wreckage… Men that chase after the hearts of their children daily… Men that honor the commitments they make in the business world… Men whose word is worth more than gold… Men that honor the covenant (not contractual obligation) of marriage. This is what we need to strive to be, but it takes resilience to do that.

So, how are we to cultivate manly resilience, and how can that apply to our marriages?

An easy way for us to do that would be to lean on real stories of men that showed unbelievable resilience. There are so many incredible stories of resilience that men can use to this end. One of our favorite stories of resilience is that of Navy SEAL Chief (SOC) Adam Brown. We suggest that you read a more robust description of Adam Brown’s life on Day 2 of the Undaunted.Life: A Man’s Devotional  and by reading his biography by Eric Blehm entitled Fearless: The Undaunted Courage and Ultimate Sacrifice of Navy SEAL Team SIX Operator Adam Brown. Another favorite of ours is the incredible true story about the life of Louis Zamperini; the Olympic runner turned US POW turned Christian evangelist. You can learn more about him by reading Unbroken: A World War II Story of Survival, Resilience, and Redemption by Laura Hillenbrand. Today’s scripture reading goes into the story of Gideon, the coward turned conqueror. 

The story of Gideon starts in West Manasseh near the Sea of Galilee. During this period, the Israelites had turned away from God, and for that God delivered them into the hands of their enemies, the Midianites. The Midianites ravaged the land and massively impoverished the Israelites. Finally, the Israelites turned away from the pagan gods they had been worshipping and turned to God for help. God’s answer? Gideon. 

We first meet Gideon while he is threshing wheat in a winepress. Now, if you are reading this, that part could be easily skipped over, but here is why it’s important: threshing wheat was a process that normally took place above ground because the wind was used to help with the method of separation. However, Gideon was so afraid of the Midianites and what they might do that he is actually performing this action in a winepress: UNDER GROUND. In other words, he’s hiding like a coward. This is when it all changes for Gideon...

Verse 12: "When the angel of the Lord appeared to Gideon, he said, ‘The Lord is with you, mighty warrior.’…” (ESV)

Obviously, this is kind of ironic because Gideon is actually hiding. He’s scared! But God was calling him a “mighty warrior.” This is so important. Now, Gideon starts to complain about his current circumstances, and he even goes so far as to say that the Lord had abandoned him and his people. We see the angel’s response in verse 14: “... ‘Go in the strength you have and save Israel out of Midian’s hand. Am I not sending you?’…” (ESV). Gideon’s response reveals to us what he thinks about himself…  

Verse 15: "… but how can I save Israel? My clan is the weakest in Manasseh, and I am the least in my family.’…” (ESV)

He’s speaking from a spirit of fear, diminishment, and cowardice. He definitely doesn’t see himself as a mighty warrior. But, the angel answers back to try and embolden Gideon… 

Verse 16: “... ‘I will be with you, and you will strike down all the Midianites leaving none alive.’” (ESV)

Obviously, Gideon was blown away by what God was asking him to do. However, he did not just jump right in. This message directly from an Angel of God wasn’t enough. This Angel, on three separate occasions, had to overcome objections from Gideon before he was convinced that this was something he had to do. His first step towards what God called for him to do? He destroys the pagan god Baal’s altar… at night… under cover of darkness… because he was scared. Not a bad first step, but he definitely wasn’t as bold as God was calling him to be.

Eventually though, through Gideon, God does exactly what He promised: He helped the Israelites crush the Midianites. However, in order to show that it was not the Israelites that accomplished this feat by themselves and with their own strength, God made Gideon whittle down his fighting force of over 32,000 men to only 300 warriors. These 300 men routed thousands of enemy Midianites, chasing them from their lands.

Gideon certainly didn’t start out resilient, but he cultivated it along the way. However, he did not cultivate it based on his own strength and white-knuckled stick-to-itiveness. No. He cultivated it because God was FOR him and God DIRECTED him.

So, again, the question…  how are we to cultivate manly resilience, and how can that apply to our marriages?

An Undaunted Husband will cultivate manly resilience for his marriage in three ways:

1. Depend on God’s direction/prompting and then follow through.

Yes, you might be a great man with a knack for leadership and timing, but you pale in comparison to God (duh). Look to Him to guide you. Look to Him to help you find the path you should be on. Then, don’t be one of those morons that can see the path but doesn’t go down it. Follow through. Execute. Make it happen. 

2. Seek out difficult tasks and crush them.

You lack resilience because you lack experience staring down difficult or impossible tasks and going forward and crushing them anyway. Stop shying away from the difficult and unfamiliar. The cultivation of manly resilience is a daily task. There is no finish line. Don’t be a wuss. Seek out challenges and destroy them. You’ll eventually become good at it.

3. Treat your marriage as a covenant worth honoring and not a contractual obligation worth nothing.

This may seem a bit harsh, but marriage has become just an extension of dating. This is true in both Christian and non-Christian circles. The divorce rates are just about even in those two categories, unfortunately. If you treat your marriage like a contractual obligation, don’t be surprised if it is unfruitful, unbearable, and eventually ends. Treat your marriage relationship as a pledge, promise, and guarantee to God and your bride. 

The Elements of an Undaunted Marriage:

1. HEADSHIP

2. DIRECTION

3. DISCIPLINE

4. FIGHTING

5. RESILIENCE