Undaunted.Life: An Undaunted MarriageSample

DAY 2: DIRECTION 

The Elements of an Undaunted Marriage:

1. HEADSHIP

2. DIRECTION

Military Academy cadet. Professional geographer. Esteemed archaeologist. Distinguished Royal Army artillery officer. Respected explorer… Directionless dolt. 

That’s quite the surprising ending descriptor for such a seemingly impressive man: Lieutenant Colonel Percival “Percy” Harrison Fawcett. 

Fawcett led a life of extraordinary service and adventure, but he went down in history as a glory-hungry, wealth-seeking fool.

Fawcett was born in England in 1867. At a very early age, he developed an interest in geography, mountaineering, exploration, and the military due in large part because his father and oldest brother enjoyed such things. He attended the Royal Military Academy at Woolwich and was eventually commissioned as a Royal Artillery Lieutenant in 1886. He did well for himself in the Royal Military, and he continued to be promoted through the ranks. Later in his military career, he met his wife Nina, and they eventually had three kids: Jack, Brian, and Joan. While the military lifestyle seemed to suit Fawcett, he wanted to sharpen his skills in other areas as well.

His desire to learn the art of surveying and mapmaking eventually led him to the Royal Geographical Society (RGS) where he learned the craft. He spent most of his educational time learning hands-on with the British Secret Service in North Africa. Once he got a handle on this line of work, he set his sights on a more rigorous, adventurous, and personally-fulfilling venture: exploration.

His newfound fervor, coupled with his military discipline and geographical prowess, led him to the jungles of South America. From 1906 to 1924, Fawcett made seven expeditions into the Amazon jungle areas near Brazil, Peru, and Bolivia. While in these areas, Fawcett was commissioned by the RGS to make maps of the jungle regions and to observe and record his findings on the local tribal people and animal life. As his work continued, he found himself entranced with an idea that would alter his life and many other lives forever: the lost city of Z.

Around 1914, Fawcett began to toy with a theory about an extinct, advanced Amazonian civilization that once existed in the Mato Grosso region in Brazil. He thought this to be the remains of the ancient city of El Dorado, and he chose to refer to this place as the lost city of “Z”. To his knowledge, this city had never been found, and if he were to be the first to find it, he would surely become one of the most renowned and respected explorers of his age. Additionally, the legend of this ancient city maintained that this now-extinct people group amassed great wealth; wealth that may still remain in the scattered ruins of Z. However, to be clear, there is no definitive evidence that such a city ever existed. 

In 1920, his obsession with the idea of this city led him, foolishly, on a solo mission into the deadly Amazon jungle to find Z. The expedition almost claimed his life as he narrowly escaped death by a horrible fever. Undeterred, Fawcett continued his commissioned explorations in the area, but he continued to be captivated with the idea of being the man to finally find Z. He would eventually give it another go, but he would not go it alone this time.

In 1925, he convinced his eldest son Jack and Jack’s best friend Raleigh to accompany him on a mission to find a city that may not even exist. With a bevy of supplies and aspirations of grandeur, the group set off on their mission... 

Now, this is probably about the time that you would expect for me to regale you with a story of near-death adventure, heroic survival, or even the extreme love between father and son or friend and friend. However, there will be none of that… because none of these men were ever seen again. There are plenty of theories and rumors about what came of these explorers, but only one thing is absolutely certain: they all died in search of a city full of riches that likely does not even exist.

You’re probably thinking something like… “What a bunch of morons!”… “Why would anyone do something like that?”… or maybe even “That’d be the way I’d want to go out!”… Regardless of your stance on the culmination of the story, we can all agree that it just didn’t have to be this way. These men didn’t have to die in some nonsensical fashion to slake the lust of some overzealous explorer. 

Here’s the key, men: Fawcett lost his true direction.

Yes, he was an accomplished military man. Yes, he worked his way into becoming a skilled geographer. Yes, he had the balls to venture out into the unknown to try and make sense of the brutal jungle. These were all aspirations inspired by a definitive direction. Nevertheless, he lost sight of the directionality of his life because of his greed, hubris, and ego.

Unfortunately, the same can be said for most marriages and most husbands. 

If you were to ask random married couples what the direction of their marriage is, you can assume that most of them don’t have a cogent answer for that. Additionally, if you were to ask random husbands what the direction of their role as husband within their marriages is, you should expect to get some blank stares in return. 

Think about it… Fawcett caused his personal death and the deaths of his eldest son and his son’s best friend because he lost his direction in life. He left his wife and two other children alone to pursue riches and fame (sound familiar, fellas?). Thus, it is by no means exaggerative to state that lack of direction leads to death. 

Some of you, even at this moment, can sense that this is true in your marriage. You have just been floating along. You are doing just enough to get by and keep the arguments to a minimum. You are keeping it together for the sake of the kids… But you certainly aren’t going forward. You see, some men actually think that you can be stagnant. This is absurdly untrue. You are either going forward or you are going backward. Especially in your marriage, there is no hover mode. Would it not be better to have a forward direction for your marriage relationship? Would it not be better to have a personal forward direction for your role as husband?

All of the scriptures references provided today should give you ample material to chew on when thinking about the direction of your life and marriage. We want to specifically highlight Proverbs 16:9: “The heart of the man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps” (ESV). So, we know that it’s good to have some kind of direction, but the source of that direction is imperative. If we rely on our heart to tell us where to go, which is what modern culture would tell us to do, we’ll go the way of the foolish explorer. Let God establish your steps. Let God show you the path. Let God give you and your marriage direction. 

Directional action steps for the Undaunted Husband:

1. Define how a lack of direction has stunted your marriage, and come up with an initial step towards fixing it.

How has a lack of direction hurt your marriage up to this point? What step are you going to take today to gain direction?

2. Define how a lack of direction has inhibited your ability to be a good husband, and come up with an initial step towards fixing it. 

How has a lack of direction derailed your ability to be an effective husband? Are you willing to risk the death of your marriage while you toil and chase your tail?

3. Find another husband in your life that has a direction for his marriage, and ask him for his help.

Who is that great husband with a great marriage that you look up to? Then, how can you leverage your newfound direction to speak life into the marriages and husbands around you?