Healing Family Relationships Through CompassionSample

My parents divorced when I was fifteen. I can still remember walking through the halls at school on the day the divorce papers were "final." It was surreal. During that next year, my youth pastor walked me through the first phase of the forgiveness process. I had to choose to forgive my dad. It was not something I wanted to do, and it wasn't something I felt he deserved, but with encouragement, I chose to be obedient.

Then I entered the long road of forgiveness from the heart. I had no control over my feelings of bitterness and resentment. Those feelings were like a ball and chain around my life that prevented me from having a meaningful ministry with my father, who did not have a relationship with Jesus. Each day, I would pray, "Lord, I have chosen to forgive my father. But I can't get rid of these feelings of bitterness and anger. I need your help to do that. Change and heal my heart."

This was my daily prayer for six years, and while I didn't always recognize it, the Lord was at work, draining the swamp of my anger. Then came a morning I will never forget. It was my junior year of college, and I had an early class, around eleven a.m. I was in the bathroom, shaving, and for whatever reason, I was thinking about my dad. For the first time in a long time, the emotion that came to the surface was compassion! Normally, if my father was on my mind, compassion was nowhere to be found! But something had changed. God had answered my prayers.

My mind flooded with events from my father's life. His mother died. His father did not want him. He had a traumatic infancy. Where do you go to find healing for these deep wounds? Jesus. He is the only one. And my father didn’t know Him. The Lord began to drain the anger and bitterness out of my heart and replace it with His compassion.

Reflection Question: Is there someone in your family whose painful life story you need to consider with compassion rather than judgment?