Jesus Never Caught AnxietySample

Putting Differentiation into Practice

Differentiation is the ability to be yourself while staying connected to others, including critics. It means knowing where "you" end and the "other" begins, and it allows space between yourself and others—even when the other person is highly anxious or seeking rescue. A differentiated person is clear on his/her own values and convictions and is not easily swayed from them.

One more thing we can glean from Jesus’ ability to remain differentiated is how he took care of first space—the space inside himself. We all have a first space—it’s what’s going on just under the surface within ourselves, and we often don’t stop to pay attention to it. As Christians, we are so good at reminding ourselves to keep pouring out for others. We are also very good at overlooking the many times Jesus loved, not by pouring out, but by filling Himself up through connection with the Father.

Chronic anxiety is consistently trying to pull our focus away from reality. Keeping our gaze fixed on what is true is a big part of differentiation. When we take the time to connect with the Father, we remind ourselves of who we are and who He is. He is already present in the difficult spaces. He is already beside the ones who are hurting. He goes before us; He walks beside us; He is always with us.

Over and again, the Scriptures tell us that Jesus withdrew to a quiet place to pray. He invites us to do the same: “Come with me to a quiet place and get some rest.” This is where differentiation begins. We cannot remain connected to others until we know who we are, and the truth of who we are is only found in Christ.

Becoming a differentiated presence is a journey, and none of us fully arrives. We will still make mistakes, raise our voices, or say regrettable things. Differentiation has nothing to do with being perfect or always calm. It’s about staying connected to ourselves, to others, and to God by managing the anxiety that so easily disconnects us. None of us will ever fully arrive at being as perfectly differentiated as Jesus, but we can take steps to move towards becoming a connected and aware presence—even in the midst of difficult, highly anxious situations.

When we continue to practice differentiation, we become fully present to ourselves, others, and God. We recognize that everything is not ours to carry, and we remember that God is already present, offering peace in the midst of the storms.

What signals in your life reveal that you have forgotten God is with you?

Do you need to take time today to connect with the Father?

What is one way you can apply the principles of differentiation in your daily interactions with others this week?

If you would like to learn more about differentiation or other tools for managing anxiety, visit Capable Life for more information and access to some free resources.