Broken Pieces: Repairing the Damage of InfidelitySample

I want to begin today’s devotion by telling you how proud I am of you. It takes a lot of courage to resist the urge to give up and ignore the voices in your head telling you that you’re not strong enough to fight for your marriage because of your past failures and mistakes but I want to remind you that “greater is He that is in you than he that is in the world.” 1 John 4:4.

Today, we are going to discuss the power and necessity of accountability and community. This is a very important part of the process of rebuilding trust and confidence in your marriage. But I have to be honest with you. If you’re not willing to do the work, then chances are, it probably won’t work. One of the many tricks the devil uses to draw men away from God is isolation. Because he knows if he can isolate you, it's much easier for him to convince you that you're all alone and nobody cares about your struggles. It's a good old game of divide and conquer. It's the oldest trick in the book.

Did you know that God never designed for man to be alone? Genesis 2:18 says, “And the Lord said, ‘It is not good for man to be alone.” Not only did God create a helper (Eve) for Adam in the beginning, He has also created mankind for one another to live in community as we navigate through life’s many ups and downs. T.D. Jakes said it this way, “It is not good for man to be all one.” No man is an island and you are not meant to do life on your own, all alone. That is why it is essential to your daily faith walk to surround yourself with other men of God who can be a system of accountability and encouragement for you. Let me ask you a question and I want you to keep it 100 with me. Is there another man in your life right now that you can honestly say knows your secret struggles, weaknesses or tendencies? Is there someone right now that your wife can call and let them know you are out of line and in need of an intervention? Who is in your circle of influence that you respect, admire and trust enough to be honest with you to correct you when you are wrong and you are not offended? Proverbs 17:17 says, “A friend loves at all times, but a brother is born for adversity.” I don’t care how strong you think you are, you cannot win this fight on your own. It’s not possible. And no disrespect but if you could do it on your own, you wouldn’t be in the mess that you're in right now. Right?

I am an advocate for discipleship, mentorship and accountability. It has been a game-changer for me in my marriage. After so many years of secret affairs and deception, I got tired of being paranoid, covering my tracks, and just the everyday stress and anxiety of living a lie. I submitted myself to accountability first of all to my wife and secondly to wise counsel from men that I trusted enough to give me godly wisdom, encouragement and advice. Connecting with other brothers who were not just “yes men” but men who would shoot straight with me and give me scripture-based counsel and not just their opinions made a huge difference in my life. This was one of the best decisions I could’ve ever made. Any time I feel a sense of weakness or feel like I’m falling back into my old patterns, I can reach out to any of them and know with confidence they are going to pray for me and provide a safe place for me to open up and talk it through with them honestly and transparently. Proverbs 11:14 says, “Where there is no counsel, the people fall; but in the multitude of counselors there is safety.” God is not going to bring you this far for you to go back to business as usual. You were made for more and you deserve God’s best for your life and your marriage so keep fighting the good fight of faith my brother. You got this!

NEXT STEPS: Ask God for help to find other men who can hold you accountable. If you haven’t yet, consider getting therapy or counseling to help you navigate through the trauma of infidelity or any other sexual temptation you may be dealing with. Separate yourself from friends who encourage you to be unfaithful and compromise your integrity. Surround yourself with other godly men who esteem marriage and hold it in high regard. Don’t put it off any longer. Your marriage depends on it.