Finding Mr. Right - Dating for Christian WomenSample

WHAT IS YOUR WHY?

When it comes to dating, we often jump in without asking one of the most important questions:Why am I dating? Society, family, and even church culture can make it feel like dating is an inevitable part of life. You’re expected to find someone, fall in love, get married, and start a family. But before you dive into the dating world, it’s crucial to take a step back and reflect on why you’re doing it in the first place. Are you dating for entertainment? For validation? Or are you dating to find a future spouse?

The answer to this question sets the tone for how you approach relationships. If you're dating for entertainment, you might view it as something temporary, something to fill your time. If it's for validation, you may be looking for someone to affirm your worth or attractiveness. But if you're dating with the intention of finding a spouse, your mindset shifts entirely. You’re no longer just looking for someone to spend time with—you’re seeking a partner for life, someone who shares your values, your faith, and your vision for the future.

It’s a little like the difference between leasing an apartment and buying a home. When you're leasing, you may invest a little, but you know it's temporary. You’re not committing long-term. But when you're buying a home, you evaluate everything more seriously. You want to make sure it’s a wise investment, something that will last. This is the same with dating for marriage versus dating for other reasons. If you're dating to marry, you take the time to evaluate the person deeply and make sure you're on the same page about life and faith.

The Bible provides us with guidance on being intentional in our relationships. Proverbs 4:26 says,"Give careful thought to the paths for your feet and be steadfast in all your ways."This applies to dating as well. Take the time to be honest with yourself about your motivations. Look at your past relationships—were they based on emotion, or did they have a deeper purpose? Did you go into them with clear intentions, or were you just swept along by feelings and social pressure?

Being clear about your "why" also helps you recognize the other person’s intentions. Is the man you’re dating looking to build something lasting, or is he just focused on temporary pleasure or validation? By understanding both your own and his reasons for dating, you can avoid unnecessary heartbreak and set yourself up for a God-honoring relationship.