Stop Letting Them Surprise You

If you’ve ever read product reviews online, you’ve probably noticed that many items get five-star reviews from some people and two-star reviews from others. Why? Often, it’s because buyers either got more than they expected or less. Their expectation determined their experience.

When it comes to dealing with complicated people, the same principle holds true. If you think they’ll always follow your plans, meet your needs, and run on your timetable, you’ll end up disappointed. And once that happens, you’ll have to deal not only with their behavior, but with your own disappointment or offense.

Sometimes you need to lower the bar a little. Not too low, but low enough to align with reality. Don’t let people surprise you. They will make mistakes. They will have bad days. They will wake up in foul moods. They will make dumb choices. We all do these things at times because we’re all fallible. If you go into every interaction expecting the person to be human, you’ll be a lot more prepared to respond with grace, faith, and wisdom rather than angst and aggravation.

Jesus made it clear to his disciples and to us that life isn’t always going to be smooth sailing. “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world” (John 16:33). He was aligning their expectations with reality so that when trouble came, instead of getting discouraged or derailed, they would take heart, trust in God, and remain at peace. He wanted them to be mentally prepared for difficult times while also expecting God to work in and through those troubles.

In the same way, you can use the power of expectations to help you deal with complicated people. Yes, you can expect some trouble. But you can also “take heart” and expect God to do miracles in your relationship.

Instead of letting people surprise you, get ready for them. How?

• Be ready with grace. Choose in advance to be gracious in the face of opposition and to forgive instead of taking offense.
• Be ready with faith. Know that God is with you, and his grace is more than enough for even the most challenging individual.
• Be ready with strategies. Engage your God-given wisdom and creativity. Learn how to deal with specific kinds of people. Research, get advice, and plan ahead. Things like people skills and communication skills are learned, so do whatever you can to become more skilled.

Who are you going to interact with today? Are your expectations realistic? Have you chosen in advance to have grace? Is your faith level in the right place? And have you put some thought into how to have the best possible connection? Don’t let them surprise you—be ready with grace, faith, and wise strategies.

Prayer

God, help me be prepared for the unexpected things that people are going to do today. Give me grace for their mistakes, faith in your power and plan, and practical strategies to have the best possible interaction with them. I pray this in Jesus’ name, amen.