Overcoming Loneliness in College a 9-Day Devotional by Cantice Greene and Joshua GreeneSample

Part Two

In Your Feelings: Relationships and Overcoming Loneliness in College

To Date or Not to Date

Cantice says…

Who doesn’t want to be 'boo’ed' or 'bae’ed' up in college? It’s a convenient time to be on the lookout for your next love. You’re not going to hear me say that adage you go to school to get a degree, not a date, because, actually, it’s fine to leave college with both. Also, though, it’s ok not to date. Let me explain.

Dating in college can be great…that is, under a few important conditions. Chief among them is that if you’re a Christian, you should be on the lookout for a date who is also in love with Jesus. This has to be non-negotiable because the bible is non-negotiable on this point in 2 Corinthians says, “Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?” (2 Cor. 6:14). Adopting that clear stance will limit your choices and leave you with the potential to feel lonely because while others are in relationships, you’re holding out for someone special. And that’s ok! While you’re waiting is a great time to lean into solitude.

You may remember my saying that I used to turn on my favorite music and dance in my apartment. Then I’d lie prostrate before the Lord, thanking Him for all His blessings. The truth is, I had more time to do that when I was not in a relationship. Part of my college story is that I made bad choices with partners before I made good ones. After one of my breakups, I took a hiatus from dating and leaned into solitude. I had a lot of time to read the bible, pray more, serve more, and fast more. My priorities changed. When choosing a partner, I became more concerned about his inside than his outside. I wanted to be with someone who was growing spiritually just like me, and I was willing to wait for that. Knowing God intimately has a way of assuring you that you’ll never end up lonely. I’m not saying that I didn’t get an itch to be in a relationship when I was single. I did. But I learned to understand when I needed to be alone and when I didn’t. As you lean into solitude, I know the same will happen for you.

Meditate on this: 2 Corinthians 6:16