Why Is Vulnerability So Hard?Sample

Since the day that Adam and Eve created clothes to hide from each other and then hid from God in the garden, humanity has been repeating a four-part behavior pattern.

The first part is we pull away. In Genesis 3, Adam and Eve eat the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, and they pull away from God.

Gravity works similarly. If I jump up right now, I'm returning to Earth quickly. The force of gravity doesn't let me get far off the ground. Similarly, a gravitational force at work causes us to pull away from God when we sin. I don't know about you, but I sin daily, most of the time, before I even get to work. When I sin, I tend to pull away from God.

The second part of the pattern is we feel shame. Adam responded to God's inquiry, "We were naked, so we hid because we were afraid."

What I find fascinating is that Adam and Eve were naked a few verses before this in chapter 2, too. It wasn't like they suddenly were more naked after eating the fruit.

So, what changed? Shame. Nakedness moved from something they had without shame to something they were ashamed of. They felt exposed and vulnerable.

The third part of the pattern is that we fear pain.

Again, consider Adam's words, "We were afraid, so we hid." Adam and Eve were afraid of pain. That's why we pull back, too. We don't want to get hurt. After sharing my vulnerable story in my sermon and getting ripped to shreds over email, I feared pain the next time I shared a vulnerable story. Getting harsh and critical emails from members and attendees in that church was common. I started becoming anxious to open my email, especially on Mondays.

Are you afraid of pain today? Is that what happens when you think about being vulnerable? Or when you even open up a tiny bit and share about yourself?

The fourth and final pattern is that we build bigger barriers. Before Genesis 3, Adam and Eve had never worn clothes. Yet, they found the ingredients for their first barrier in the garden with the fig leaves. They put up a barrier between each other. Once they heard God walking in the garden, they put up a barrier and hid from God.

This pattern goes on for thousands of years between Adam and Eve, the other men and women we read about in the Bible, and you and me today.

Is this your pattern with God or other people? Do you pull away when you make a mistake? So you feel ashamed because you feel broken, unworthy, and unlovable? Do you fear pain and shame in the future because of that mistake? So, you build a barrier?

If you're nodding, know you are not alone.

The problem is more than just going through this pattern once. Over time, as we repeat the pattern again and again, the barriers get bigger and bigger. We become skilled barrier-builders. You may even live in your castle built with high walls, a moat, and weapons ready to attack anyone who tries to get too close.

A castle can be pretty to look at from a distance. It may be enjoyable to take a tour for one day. But living alone behind those walls doesn't sound pleasant at all.

I'll share how we break this pattern in the next reading.