Love Always: A 5-Day Marriage DevotionalSample

Day 5: Love Is Understanding

“His changes of mood did not offend me, because I saw that I had nothing to do with their alternation; the ebb and flow depended on causes quite disconnected with me.” Jane Eyre, the insightful literary heroine, did not allow her master’s dreary mood to send her into a downward spiral. She had a choice: to be offended or to be curious. If we heed the wisdom penned in Charlotte Brontë’s famous novel, we could save ourselves from a stormy argument that could ruin an entire day, or even longer.

There are times in every marriage when we argue or push each other’s buttons. Your spouse’s little annoyances or attitudes drive you crazy, so you pout or get angry. You trade peace and joy for anxiety and anger because of a harsh comment or a frustrated facial expression.

Instead of taking offense, we can use Scripture to gain understanding and ask the Lord for wisdom. James 1:5 says, “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him.” When we have God’s wisdom and understanding, we can then extend grace to our spouse.

Instead of being offended, be curious. Ask God, “What’s going on here? Show me what You want to do, Lord.” Evaluate the situation: Is my wife annoyed because she’s tired? Is my husband gruff because he lost a client? Like Jane Eyre, say to yourself, “This may have nothing to do with me. I’m removing my feelings, so I can be objective and discover the source of this irritation.” You may even ask yourself, “Why does this annoy me?” With this curious mindset, you can move forward more quickly and avoid Satan’s bait to be offended.

As difficult as it seems, God may lead you to say something kind right away. Jesus urged His disciples, “Bless those who curse you. Pray for those who hurt you” (Luke 6:28 NLT). In the heat of these moments in marriage, you have an opportunity to show your spouse God’s love.

But what do you do when you feel wounded and weak? If you are struggling or your spouse’s attitude remains unchanged for a longer period, consider running an errand or going for a short walk. Putting space between yourself and your spouse gives you a chance to pray. Putting space between you also eliminates unhealthy back‐and‐forth exchanges of cold looks and impulsive responses.

When you stop and evaluate, when you use wisdom and ask God for understanding, something beautiful happens. Your heart changes. Showing your spouse a glimpse of God’s character is your greatest gift to them. Mercy warms their soul. Grace showers them with love. Understanding brings sunshine into our marriages and reflects the image of our Creator.

PRAYER

Lord, I ask You to give me wisdom and understanding in my marriage. Help me to be curious, instead of offended. Show me how to come alongside the work You are doing so I can reflect Your character and love my spouse like You do. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Was this plan helpful? We adapted this plan from Love Always: A 21-Day Marriage Devotional.

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