Love Always: A 5-Day Marriage DevotionalSample

Day 3: Love Is Healing

Trauma has become somewhat of a buzzword in recent years, but that’s not a bad thing. According to the National Council for Behavioral Health, “70% of adults in the U.S. have experienced some type of traumatic event at least once in their lives. That’s 223.4 million people.” A massive percentage of the world’s population is living with real hurt, and the effects of unhealed trauma are widespread, reaching beyond the victims and toward those around them.

You may be thinking, What does this have to do with my marriage? Chances are, either you or your spouse have gone through some sort of traumatic experience in your life. Perhaps you lost a loved one in a tragic accident. Maybe you were physically abused or watched someone you love being abused. Perhaps you were so bullied that you have no sense of confidence or self. Maybe you were sexually abused, and the memories are starting to return. Or maybe someone you love experienced a life‐threatening illness.

God knows the experiences you’ve had. He knows the details you’ve pushed deep down or even forgotten. And He hates the wickedness and fallen nature of this world that has caused you pain. He keeps track of every tear you’ve cried, and He doesn’t leave you to grieve alone. He loves you tremendously, and He wants to heal you right where you are.

Whether you recognize it right now or not, the side effects of unhealed trauma may be influencing your life, and more specifically, your marriage. You may think this problem is yours alone to navigate or ignore, but it’s difficult to remain unhealed when sharing your life with someone—especially when you are called to be totally transparent and in complete unity with that person. The effects of unhealed trauma can impact your everyday life, and you can’t simply wait for it to disappear.

Many people today think, If I don’t dwell on it or talk about it, it will go away, and things will get better. But they’re only fooling themselves. When we’re not at our best, it often hurts other people too. You may have heard the expression, “Hurt people hurt people.” And unfortunately, it’s usually the people we’re closest to, like our spouses, that can hurt us the most.

But there’s good news! Jesus can heal you. No heart is too broken for Him to heal. No life is too shackled for Him to liberate. All healing starts with Jesus and abiding in Him. It’s only through submission to Him that He can cut away the hurtful roots of our pasts and we can begin to display the fruit of His Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self‐control (see Galatians 5:22–23).

We need to ask ourselves the same question Jesus asked the man at the pool of Bethesda: “Do you want to be made well?” (John 5:6). Are you ready to allow Him to heal you? If your answer is yes, God’s love will do a miraculous healing work within you, but you will need to surrender to His wisdom and know the process of healing may require a co‐laboring effort. You may need to put in some elbow grease as well or even find a trusted, Spirit‐filled counselor to help you. Often, this is the first step toward not only healing your heart but also healing your marriage.

PRAYER

Lord, reveal to me any unhealed trauma in my past that is negatively affecting how I interact with my spouse and my family. I surrender to You and ask You to begin healing my heart and mind. Show me Your love so I may experience freedom for myself and my marriage. In Jesus’ name, Amen.