Kids or No Kids? 6 Tips for Having the Talk While DatingSample

Day 1: Family Planning

“God blessed them and said to them, ‘Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky and over every living creature that moves on the ground.’" - Genesis 1:28

Navigating the dating world can be complex enough, but throw in the big question of kids or no kids into the mix, and you've got yourself a whole new level of serious conversation. Whether you're just dipping your toes into a new relationship or getting more serious with someone special, finding the right time to discuss the future of your family is pivotal.

In Genesis 1:28, God commands Adam and Eve to "be fruitful and increase in number." This verse is sometimes cited as a directive for Christians to have children. But is it a command that applies to everyone? Or is it more nuanced?

Scripture does highlight the blessings of children. Psalm 127:3-5 says, “Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are children born in one’s youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them.” Children are indeed a blessing and a gift from God. However, the Bible also recognizes singleness and childlessness. Paul speaks highly of singleness in 1 Corinthians 7, suggesting that being single allows for undivided devotion to the Lord.

So, is having children a command or a choice? It’s both, in a way. For many, having children is a natural response to God’s creation mandate, but it's also a deeply personal decision. Some couples may feel called to have large families, while others might feel led to focus their efforts elsewhere, such as in ministry or careers. It’s important to discern God’s will for your life.

How do you know what God’s will is for your family? Start with prayer. Seek God’s guidance and wisdom in this area. Proverbs 3:5-6 advises us to “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” Seek counsel from trusted mentors and scripture. Also, have honest conversations with your partner about your desires and concerns regarding having children.

Ultimately, whether you choose to have children or not, the most important thing is to align your decision with God’s will for your life. Trust that He has a plan for you, and that plan is good. By seeking His guidance and being open to His direction, you'll make the right choices for your family and your future.