The Hurt SpiralSample

I CAN HURT YOU BETTER

So David put a thin plaster over the wound. Absalom could stay in Jerusalem, but the hurt would stay intact (2 Samuel 14). Patching over hurtful situations is not only ineffective, but it often also makes things worse.

At some point in a hurtful situation, one or both parties decide that it’s time to move on. In this case, it was Absalom. And in the same way as what happens to most of us, the unhealthy ways Absalom chose to put the whole thing behind him, spilled over into his actions.

David and Absalom started seeing each other again (v. 33), but the long years of hurting have taken their toll. Absalom was ready to move on. And he was moving on towards the palace. The Bible’s account of Absalom’s revenge is a lengthy and painful affair (2 Samuel 15 - 17). He “stole the hearts of all the people of Israel” to join his conspiracy against the king (15:6, NLT), slept with David’s concubines (16:22), and sent an assassin to kill his father (17:4). How sad!

By this time, we can barely remember where David and Absalom’s hurt spiral started. But it was now out of control, destroying everything in its path.

Again, Jesus warns us against the cumulative effect of nurtured hurt. In Matthew 18, Peter asks Jesus a question that I believe Absalom would have related to. “‘Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?’” (v. 21, NLT). At what point do we draw the line and let the hurt take its natural course? Never. “‘No, not seven times,’ Jesus replied, ‘ but seventy times seven!’” (v. 22).

The only way to prevent destruction like what happened in David and Absalom’s lives, is to stop the hurt spiral. Anywhere along its way.

Do you find yourself in an accelerating spiral of hurt? What would it take from you to stop the devastation?

Let us recognize the damage that our past hurts are causing in our lives. And let us take the first step to stop the spiral. “‘Bless those who curse you. Pray for those who hurt you’” (Luke 6:28, NLT).