The Hurt SpiralSample

SILENT SORES

Absalom’s reaction to his deep hurt is no different from how most of us still deal with hurt today. He kept quiet and buried it just deep enough for it to set root and grow until it took over his life completely.

The problem with buried hurt is that over time, it develops into resentment and bitterness, as in Absalom’s case. “And though Absalom never spoke to Amnon about this, he hated Amnon deeply because of what he had done to his sister” (2 Samuel 13:22, NLT).

I wonder if we should change the word “though” in the previous sentence to “because”. Perhaps the whole family tragedy would have turned out differently if Absalom confided in someone about his hurt. The hurt may have remained just that, hurt. But instead, it grew into a malignant state of hatred and bitterness that eventually found a way out.

Whether it takes days, months, or years, buried hurt spills over into our thoughts and actions. In Absalom’s case, it happened after two years of feeding the hurt (2 Samuel 13:23). Absalom’s thoughts were taken over by his hurt in such a way that he planned to kill his brother in front of his father. He invited his father and brothers to a feast where he intended to have Amnon killed in cold blood with everybody present (v. 23-28). What a dark place Absalom must have been in!

Many centuries later, Jesus also experienced hurt from all sides. His friends betrayed and denied Him in his darkest hours (Matthew 26; John 18). His own family turned their backs on his ministry (Mark 6). Eventually, his Father left Him alone to die for everybody’s sins (Mark 15:34). But He did not allow bitterness into his heart.

It seems ironic that Peter, who hurt Jesus by denying Him, should be the one who reminds us of Jesus’ victory over resentment and bitterness. “He did not retaliate when he was insulted, nor threaten revenge when he suffered. He left his case in the hands of God, who always judges fairly” (1 Peter 2:23, NLT).

What hurt are you experiencing today? What can you do to make sure that your heart is not taken over by bitterness?

Let us treat our wounds quickly by bringing them out in the open to heal. And let us create safe spaces where we can share our hurt before it sets root and grows. “Look after each other so that none of you fails to receive the grace of God. Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you, corrupting many” (Hebrews 12:15, NLT).