Being Whole: 21 Days to Overcoming Relational TraumaSample

COMPASSION:

Compassion comes after confrontation. Confrontation is not a bad word; it simply means to address a difficult situation. Let us not confuse compassion with emotional avoidance. So, this is a deep one. There are times when we avoid addressing things because we are afraid of conflict, and we call it understanding a person or having mercy. No, we are building resentment inside as a wall of protection. That is not compassion or understanding.

Here are some steps that can help us develop “true” compassion towards those who have hurt us:

1. Seek to understand: It can be helpful to try to understand the motivations and experiences that may have led the person to hurt us. This does not excuse their behavior but can help us to see them as complex human beings rather than one-dimensional villains.
2. Practice empathy: Empathy involves putting ourselves in the other person's shoes and imagining how we would feel if we were in their situation. This can help us to see the person as someone who is also capable of experiencing pain and suffering.
3. Recognize their humanity: It is easy to demonize those who have hurt us, but it is important to remember that they are also human beings who are imperfect and flawed, just like us.
4. Pray for them: Praying for the person who has hurt us can help us to see them through God's eyes and to extend grace and compassion towards them.

Focus on our own healing: Ultimately, our ability to have compassion towards those who have hurt us is connected to our own healing and growth. As we work on our own healing and let go of bitterness and resentment, we can become more capable of extending compassion towards others.

Questions to Ponder:

What does compassion mean to you? What are the barriers to you showing compassion to self and others? Do you recognize the Lord’s compassion in your life? If so, how has it shown up? How did you respond in that moment?