Unlocking Composure

Redirect Your Anxiety, Let Go of the Need to Control, and Stay Calm Under Pressure

As followers of Jesus, when we feel that we’ve been slighted by society, how we respond is essential.

Will we lose our patience, or will we keep our composure? What causes us to lose our composure? Maybe we need to define what composure is first. Composure means a calmness in our mind, our words, and our actions. In other words, it’s a person’s ability to self-regulate his or her emotions and reactions—especially in adverse circumstances or situations.

Composure can be seen as one of the attributes of the “fruits of the Spirit.” As believers in Christ, we are to be ruled by His Spirit, which produces characteristics that we would see in Jesus. The Bible tells us that the fruits of the Spirit are love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

No wonder composure is one of the keys to kindness. Think about it for a minute. When looking at the comparison of coach Bobby Knight and coach John Wooden, it’s obvious which one exuded kindness, patience, and peace amid stressful situations, right?

The reality, for any one of us, is that without having composure, we will have a short fuse, a lack of patience, and fly off the handle when we are anxious, stressed, angry, or fearful, reacting in ways that are far from being kind.

Often anger and anxiety come from expecting too much from ourselves, of setting ourselves up for perfectionistic goals or unrealistic bars. If we live our lives measuring ourselves against others or trying to control our outcomes, we will constantly live in a state of high anxiety.

In this chapter, I want you to learn the paradox that “letting go is more freeing than having the illusion of control.” You can overcome fear, anxiety, and the need to control others by living a life of faith and trust in God.

Jesus said, “If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake, you will save it.”

Surrender brings peace, and the release of control stops the stress of trying to play God. The need to control the circumstances in our lives, or control others, induces more and more anxiety and stress.

The only kind of “control” that should earmark our lives is that of self-regulation—self-control of the emotions, thoughts, and behaviors that run contrary to Christ. Even in this, it is God’s Spirit that gives us the power and strength to be someone of composure. The more we embrace a big and healthy view of God—one that strengthens our faith in Him—the more peace we will have in the storms and chaos of life.

Dwight L. Moody said, “A great many people are trying to make peace, but that has already been done. God has not left it for us to do; all we have to do is enter into it.”

So, what do we do when it comes to anxiety? Are there practical things we can do to redirect our anxious thoughts and emotions? Yes, there are. Two things I recommend for us to unlock our power of composure are focusing on God and remembering self-care.

We need to take our focus off of our worries and ourselves and unhook our unreasonable expectations from our brows. Unlocking our composure will help us to learn to be kind to ourselves, as well as to others.

When we feel calm, we feel kind. Reflect on this today.