Moving Through GriefSample

Draw Close to God

Understanding our needs can be challenging. And who can truly explain exactly why we do what we do? We can gain insight through reflection, learning from others, and exploring our own past experiences, but as much as we wish they would, these things will not give us full control over our future behavior.

One reason we try to avoid feeling is to prevent future pain. If we give ourselves permission to feel, we open ourselves up to being hurt again. This leaves us vulnerable and can be frightening. Each loss impacts us differently and causes us to behave in varying ways. In fact, each day we face the same loss may impact us in unique ways, triggering unusual behavior. As we give ourselves permission to be curious about our feelings rather than hiding them, we will become better equipped to meet our needs in healthy ways.

When we faced our loss, one of our strongest feelings was a sense of distance from God. We continued to ask God questions and look to Scripture for situations where people felt like He didn’t see them. Did you know David felt distant from God? He prayed, “How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me?” (Ps. 13:1 NIV). If David was called a man after God’s own heart (1 Sam. 13:14), yet even he experienced times of distance from God, then we are okay. Did you hear me? Try reading it out loud. We are okay. If this psalm resonated with you, consider listening to Shane and Shane’s song titled “Psalm 13.”

In Isaiah 55:8, God says, “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways” (NIV). In verse 9, God shares that His thoughts are higher than our own. We don’t have to understand why God chooses to be silent at times; we can still put our faith in Him, trusting that His thoughts and motives are better than ours.

Understanding that David felt unseen helped us feel a little bit less alone and freed us to contemplate our deeper feelings. If David made it into the pages of Scripture and he felt distant from God, we can rest believing that God is still sovereign and feeling abandoned doesn’t mean we are. Psalm 34:18 says, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit” (NIV). We can stand on God’s Word. Since His Word tells us He is near, He is.

If all those words didn’t break through the hurt you feel, consider permitting yourself to explore the walls of pain that separate you from God.

Let's pray.

God,

Sometimes I run away from my loss and my feelings. Sometimes I run away from You. I ask for Your help today to break down the walls between us. Today, I choose to be honest with You about my feelings, even if I am angry with You or feel distant from You. I know this is not the end of the story, and You are always with me.

Amen.

Journal:

Has your loss led you to feel negative emotions toward God? Write a few sentences about your current relationship with God and what you'd like it to be instead. Write about your plan for continuing to move through your grief. Who will you reach out to for help? How can you take care of yourself at this time?

If you've enjoyed this YouVersion plan, visit chuckandashley.com to learn more about Chuck and Ashley and read more + order the book I Used to Be ___ to continue working through your loss. This plan includes excerpts from I Used to Be ___.